Some Intresting Facts and Thoughts

DRINK TEA, MAKE BETTER LOVE

2012-01-28T23:34:00.000-08:00

Making love with a long-term partner is less about sex toys and more about sharing time and cups of chai — in between the sex

Sex life a bit lacking? Take heart: the answer lies not in scarysounding toys or tantric techniques, but a nice cup of tea. That’s the comforting view of leading marital therapist Andrew G Marshall. He explains how it works: “If you stop in the middle of love-making to have tea and talk to each other, it shows how desire comes and goes — that sex isn’t just a race to the end. It allows you time to be intimate with each other. Sex which used to last 15 minutes suddenly lasts an hour and a half.”
    Marshall is on a mission to reclaim monogamous sex for couples who are puzzling out how to feel sexy with the partner who shares the frankly unsexy business of domestic life and bringing up children. As a marital therapist with practices in London and Sussex, Marshall has enjoyed a rare insight into the love lives of people over the past 25 years. His latest book is, How to Make Love Like a Prairie Vole: Six Steps to Passionate, Plentiful and Monogamous Sex (Bloomsbury), published both as a book and an app.
    In his view, too many couples resign themselves to little or no sex after the first few years and pretend they don’t mind while secretly yearning for better sex — or resorting to an affair. “Too often people leave a relationship at just the point when sex has the potential to get much better,” Marshall says.
    “One myth I particularly want to challenge is that after the first few years it’s downhill all the way and once you get past 40 that’s about it — you’ve got one last chance and you’d better grab it quickly. That encourages all sorts of stupid affairs.
    Marshall encourages couples to reinvent their sex lives every few years. It’s not about spicing things up superficially with new techniques and toys but about building confidence and openness. If couples can pull this off — in the face of undeniable pressures like kids and careers — sex gets better and better. Yet the very glue that binds long-term relationships can hamper progress, because individuals are naturally wary of suggesting changes for fear of rocking the emotional boat and as time goes on there’s so much more at stake. And while it’s all very well for sexperts to bang on about the importance of communication, most couples haven’t got a clue where to begin.
    Too often sex has become the elephant in the room; a subject far too scary to bring up because it feels like criticism. So much easier to bite your tongue and put up with things the way they are.
    Marshall’s advice is to avoid bringing up problems, which will make your partner feel defensive. Instead start by talking about what you like about your sex life and remembering what was wonderful in the past. That should help to break the ice for further discussion.
Marshall is also keen to bust the myths about sex which hold couples back: that it has to be spontaneous and that both partners have to be equally turned on at the same time. “That puts people under extreme pressure,” he says. “If you wait until you both feel in the mood you’d probably only have sex once a year.”
    And he urges couples to treat sex as a priority, rather than the last thing on the minds of two exhausted individuals. Parents, whether their children are teenagers or toddlers, should take note: “If anything is causing problems in our sex lives, it’s the sense that we have to be super-parents who are available to our children 24/7,” he says. THE INDEPENDENT
The dos and don’ts of doing it
    Take the pressure off by having a break from sex for a few weeks. Focus on touching instead.
    Develop habits that give you a head start, such as going to bed at the same time as your partner and keeping distractions such as computers and phones away from the bedroom.
    Simple communication also helps: if you’re going to bed, then make a point of telling your partner, so they know you haven’t just gone for a bath or whatever.
    If you’ve got children, put a lock on your bedroom door. If you’re worred about being overheard, play music.
    Don’t wait to be in the mood. Sex doesn’t always have to be spontaneous. Plan sex.
    Communicate. Bringing up the subject of sex can easily be taken as a criticism. Don’t focus on problems but talk about what’s good about your sex life and what you enjoyed in the past.

Channels that you enjoy watching speak volumes about your personality

2012-01-08T02:27:00.001-08:00

Channels that you enjoy watching speak volumes about your personality. Read on to know how

Whether it’s respite from a hectic day at work, or a sad excuse for a social life, or a refuge from daily chores and nagging, what you flip on to watch in your time-out says a surprising lot about you. Your fixation towards a certain sort of programmes can reveal interesting insights into your personality type, according to a study conducted by a USbased media research company.
Our experts, clinical psychologist and psychotherapist Varkha Chulani and psychologist Seema Hingorrany, deduce traits associated with certain types of programmes to help you figure where your TRP stands. Sports and music genres have been omitted owing to their generic appeal across masses.
SOAPS Family bonds and relationships are top priority for you. If serials such as “Bade Achhe Lagte Hain”, “Kuch Toh Log Kahenge” or “Pavitra Rishta” rock your world, you can be accused of being a die-hard romantic. Being overly sensitive to others’ emotions can make you appear timid and docile at times. High on sympathy, you are emotionally expressive. Watching these serials gives you comfort and you often use these serials to get ideas about resolving a problem in your own life. Young men who watch soaps are suspect mama’s boys who tow the family line and are unlikely to rebel.
REALITY SHOWS If you’re hooked to over-the-top melodramatic reality shows, you will seldom find others interesting enough. You make for an inquisitive, curious person with a competitive streak hidden within. Just like your shows of choice tend to be slightly aggressive and melodramatic at times, if you happen to bang your car into someone else’s on the road, chances are, you’ll be the first to jump out and create a scene. Taking blame isn’t your strong suit, and you are known to derive vicarious pleasure from watching the lives of other people. Loud and boisterous, you’re not the first to show sympathy either. Watching shows such as “Roadies”, “Emotional Atyachar” and “Big Boss”, makes you feel less guilty about the shortcomings in your own life.
SITCOMS
A big hit with most, light-hearted easy-watching sitcoms such as “Sex And The City”, “Friends”, “Big Bang Theory”, “Two And Half Men”, “Mad Men” and the likes appeal to your liberal lifestyle and blend with your broad-minded ideology. Having achieved a certain status and financial stability in life, you believe in individual freedom and give enough breathing space to your partner. You don’t mind treating yourself well. You may still have some unfulfilled dreams and are unable to make deep connections with people.
TRAVEL AND COOKERY Instead of drooling over Nigella Lawson, you actually watch the show to learn good cooking. Travel shows fire up the explorer in you, with your mind ticking away, trying to find a way to get yourself there. A highly creative person, you love life pretty much as it is. You believe in pushing limits and like experimenting. Not big on cribbing or sulking, you’re quick to get people out of depression. The life of any party.
EDUCATIONAL
You can be accused of being a documentary-junkie. Channels such as National Geographic, Discovery, Animal Planet and History are your fix. Watching anything else on TV feels like a waste of time. Not big on parties, you have an intense personality and a clear agenda to learn more in life. Knowledge based on facts is fuel for your mind. You are intelligent and may look down upon people who watch mindless shows. In the pursuit of perfection, you have a fundamental need to go ahead of yourself. Borderline introvert, you can become asocial whenever you need to introspect.
CRIME OR THRILLERS Shows like “CID”, “CSI”, “Dexter” and “Castle” fascinate you.You are no dull cow. Reading between the lines comes naturally to you. You believe you have been gifted with a third eye. You are constantly looking to challenge yourself, be it at work or play. You are an extrovert and like to be a step ahead of others. Compared to the average Joe, you are more aware and alert about what’s happening around you. You don’t buy theories easily and don’t gossip. You only trust first hand information.
CARTOONS Adults who love to watch cartoons are looking for a quick escape from the hard reality of their times. Watching cartoons helps them revisit their childhood and nurture their inner child, reflecting a strong belief in simplicity and innocence. You work hard in life and have a good sense of humour.
NEWS OF THE WORLD This is for people who are hooked to the ‘breaking news’ phenomenon. You have an active thought process and like to indulge in discussions with intense intellectual stimulation. You may get over-analytical at times and flaunt your intelligence; wanting to be seen, heard and respected. Sometimes when you get excited, you don’t listen to others and miss their point.
PARANORMAL OR HORROR Hungry for adventure, you have an intrinsic need to explore the unknown. With your esoteric interests, if an idea interests you, you are likely to investigate it till you find convincing answers. You often employ your imagination to look for answers which are beyond rational. However, you may get easily carried away by data which appeals to you, but cannot be verified. This makes you gullible, easily influenced and vulnerable. You love to watch stories of reincarnation, ghosts and vampires or subjects dealing with the supernatural.

You can smell a lie from afar with 4 quick ways

2011-12-14T22:27:00.000-08:00

You can smell a lie from afar with 4 quick ways

How to spot a liar? A body language expert claims to have come up with four quick ways to know if someone is fibbing through their teeth.
    In addition to a steady gaze or displays of inconsistent behaviour, the other two give-aways are shown through smile or lack thereof, according to Marc Salem.
    He says that by covering one’s mouth while talking or coughing an inordinate amount for a healthy person both may be ways to cover more than just one’s smile, the ‘Daily Mail’ reported.
    If someone tries to hide their mouth, it may be an inadvertent tell that they are hiding the truth. On the other end of the spectrum, if someone smiles too quickly or does so under unusual circumstances, they may be trying to cover up bad behaviour. “A genuine smile changes a person’s whole face. Their eyes light up, and their cheeks and eyebrows rise along with the corners of their mouth.
    “A fake smile appears in an instant, and disappears just as quickly,” he said. A common theme throughout is that any changes in someone’s typical behaviour should serve as a warning sign that something is up. “Shifts from the norm are red flags for deceit,” Salem said.

Home’s best for second delivery

2011-11-28T02:09:00.001-08:00

Home’s best for second delivery

The best place for women to give birth is among the most emotive debates in medicine. At home or in hospital? The argument has raged for decades.
    Researchers have now attempted to settle the debate with a study of 65,000 low-risk women whose outcomes in childbirth were compared. The results show that hospital obstetric units are safer than home births for first babies — but there is a higher rate of intervention with Caesareans, forceps and epidurals and a lower chance of a normal birth in hospital. For second and subsequent babies, home births were as safe as hospital — and cheaper.
    First-time mothers were nearly three times more likely to have an “adverse outcome” from death of the baby to injuries to the baby's arm or shoulder during delivery, if the birth was planned at home.
    All the women in the study were low risk — they were carrying a single baby, had no pre-existing medical conditions, there were no complications in pregnancy and they had not had a previous Caesarean. Professor Peter Brocklehurst, of Oxford University's National Perinatal Epidemiology Unit, who led the Birthplace in England study, said: “While there is an increase in risk for first-time mothers planning the birth at home... Mothers will need to balance the increase in risk ... against the very much greater likelihood of having a 'normal' birth. THE INDEPENDENT

Beware, walking with earphones on can kill

2011-11-27T05:02:00.000-08:00

Beware, walking with earphones on can kill

The death of 21-year-old Priya Jain, hit by a bike and then a bus while crossing the busy Vikas Marg road on Wednesday, is a wake-up call to the dangers of ‘iPod oblivion’ — walking on the road with earphones, listening to music or simply talking.
    Priya, police said, had ear-plugs on while crossing the road on her way to work. That may well have made the crucial difference between life and death in her case. Experts say walking with earphones causes ‘cognitive overload’ which shuts out the world around the wearer and makes the person blind to danger.
    With hand-held devices becoming more and more common around the world, this is being recognized as a major threat on the roads in the US, Australia and other countries, perhaps second only to using the cellphones while driving.
    Closer home, Priya’s is not an isolated case. A few months back in the capital, a man returning from a night shift early in the morning with headphones on, stepped right in front of a car and lost his life. While the incident was reported, the fact that the man’s headphones could have caused the accident, was not.
FACING THE MUSIC Walking with earphones leads to attention deficit
Reflexes slow down
Wearer becomes blind to danger as warnings like honking, traffic noise are blocked
Legislators in US have unsuccessfully tried to bring
law banning earphones while walking US tries to curb headphone menace, India gets wake-up call
New Delhi: Walking on the road with earphones, listening to music or simply talking can be dangerous. There are countless close calls every day but the issue hasn’t drawn the attention it deserves.
    That’s not the case in the US, where for some time now, legislators have unsuccessfully attempted to introduce laws banning use of headphones while walking, with evidence growing that many accidents can be avoided if pedestrians stop using earphones.
    Dr M C Misra, chief of AIIMS Trauma Centre, points out that 50% of road accident deaths in the city are that of pedestrians and use of hand-held devices while crossing the road or walking in the carriageway was definitely a contributing factor.
    “Listening to music or talking on the phone while crossing the road is dangerous. It diverts attention and causes a hearing deficit. The pedestrian is often not able to comprehend warning signals like honking or someone simply crying out,” he says. He adds that in the capital where pavements are encroached upon or are simply not there, people are forced to walk on the road and distraction for even a second can put one’s life at risk.
    “The Motor Vehicle Act does not have any provision to prosecute the pedestrian,’’ says Rohit Baluja, president, Institute of Road Traffic Education. “There are no statistics that tell you when a pedestrian is at fault and most often the vehicle owner is booked. But no one can deny that the increased use of cellphones to call up, text or mail while crossing the road is one of the causes of these accidents. Dr J D Mukherjee, neurologist at Max Hospital, Saket, says people who are talking on the phone while walking or listening to music are not able to respond to an emergency situation appropriately.
    A study published in the April 2011 issue of the Journal of Safety Research in the US on the use of cellphone by pedestrians highlighted the problem. It showed that people busy on the phone did look both ways before crossing but didn’t seem to be any safer. Compared with people who crossed without any distraction, people on the phone were delayed and incurred risks. In a simulation, some even got hit by a virtual car. Adults were as much to blame as teenagers, some other studies showed.
    But Satyendra Garg, joint commissioner of traffic police, says prosecution is not the way out. “The number of pedestrians is huge. It’s not practical to catch every violator and prosecute. In my view, awareness campaigns to promote judicious use of cellphones and other devices is needed. The traffic police is working on these lines,” he claims.
    Despite the danger, youngsters are not about to give up. “While listening to music like this, one feels cut off from the bustle. It’s relaxing and soothing,” says Fatima Akram, a BA Psychology (Hons) student at Jamia Milia Islamia University. Akhil Kumar,
who studies at Amity
University, says he listens to music while walking on the road but keeps the volume low. “Twice I landed right in front of heavy vehicles. Since then, I have become more alert,” he added.

One in 12 teens self-harms

2011-11-20T01:10:00.000-08:00

One in 12 teens self-harms

One in 12 young people, mostly girls, engage in self-harming such as cutting, burning or taking life-threatening risks and around 10 percent of these continue to deliberately harm themselves into young adulthood, a study found on Thursday.
    Since self-harming is one of the strongest predictors of who will go on to commit suicide, the psychiatrists who conducted the study said they hoped its findings would help galvanise support for more active and earlier intervention for people at risk.
    “The numbers we’re talking about here are huge,” said Keith Hawton of the Centre for Suicide Research at Britain’s Oxford University, who reviewed the findings at a briefing in London.
    George Patton, who led the study at the Centre for Adolescent Health at the Murdoch Children’s Research Institute in Melbourne, Australia, said the findings revealed a “window of vulnerability” when young people were in their mid-teens and often struggling with emotional control.
    “Self-harming represents a way of dealing with those emotions,” he told the briefing.
    In a report of their work in the Lancet medical journal, Patton’s team also said young people who self-harm often have mental health problems that might not resolve without treatment.
    Self-harm is a global health problem and is especially common among girls and women aged 15 to 24. Experts say they fear rates of self-abuse in this age group may be rising.
    According to the World Health Organisation, almost a million people die from suicide each year, giving a mortality rate of 16 per 100,000, or one death every 40 seconds. In the last 45 years, suicide rates have increased by 60 percent worldwide.

Can’t keep a secret?

2011-11-13T23:44:00.001-08:00

Can’t keep a secret?

Ladies might differ, or perhaps secretly agree, but a study claims that they can wait no longer than 32 minutes before spilling the beans about others

    Women are overcome by the desire to gossip and can typically wait no longer than 32 minutes before spilling the beans, a brand new study has claimed.
    According to the study conducted on 3,000 women by a facial skincare brand, it was found that one in 10 admitted to being unable to keep a secret, no matter how personal or confidential the news was. Out of the 3,000 women, 85% said they relish hearing gossip.
    Depending on who the gossip is about, a woman’s husband, mother or best friend, is most likely to be the initial recipient of the information. Almost half of the women questioned said that they often felt the need to offload their secrets to someone while a sneaky 13% said they intentionally relayed gossip to others so that it would spread.
    “This poll clearly shows that women really struggle to keep secrets,” a daily quoted a spokesperson for the skincare brand as saying. “Spilling the beans in just 32 minutes is very fast work, but with modern technology, someone’s juicy secret can be spread to a large amount of people all over the world in a very short space of time,” they added.
    “We are all guilty of sharing other people’s secrets, but there is, however, a difference between idle chitchat and sharing someone’s most sacred secret,” the spokesperson said.

List of close friends has now shrunk to two, says study

2011-11-08T02:16:00.001-08:00

List of close friends has now shrunk to two, says study

How many “close friends” do you have? Well, it could be no more than two who you consider as your best buddies, says a new study.
    The Cornell University study found that the list of close friends of Americans has now shrunk to two, down from three confidantes 25 years ago.
    But, the number of socially isolated people, or those who have zero confidantes, has not increased over these decades as suspected, found the study.
    “Although this shrinking social network makes us potentially more vulnerable, we’re not as socially isolated as scholars had feared,” study researcher Matthew Brashears was quoted as saying by LiveScience.
    “Rather than our networks getting smaller, overall, what I think may be happening is we’re simply classifying a smaller proportion of our networks as suitable for important discussions,” Brashears said. “This is reassuring in that it suggests that we’re not becoming less social.”
    For their study, Brashears and his team surveyed over 2,000 adults aged 18 and older from an online national representative programme conducted between April and May 2010.
    Participants were asked to list the names of people they had discussed “important matters” with over the previous six months. If respondents said “none”, they asked whether this was because they didn’t have any important matters to discuss or no one with whom to discuss them in the past six months.
    About 48% of participants listed one name, 18% listed two, and roughly 29% listed more than two close friends.

Waste of time? Video games make kids creative’

2011-11-07T00:28:00.000-08:00

Waste of time? Video games make kids creative’

Most parents may agree that playing video games is a waste of time and harmful for their kids. But, a new study has suggested that the games could actually be firing up children’s imaginations.
    The University of Michigan study, which involved nearly 500 12-yearold kids, found that the more kids played video games, the more creative they were in tasks such as drawing pictures and writing stories.
    The effect wasn’t caused by engaging with technology itself — using mobile phones, the internet or computers was unrelated to creativity, Daily Mail reported.
    Lead researcher Linda Jackson, a professor of psychology, said the study is the first evidence of a relationship between technology use and creativity.
    The findings, published in the journal Computers in Human Behaviour, should motivate game designers to identify the aspects of video game activity that are responsible for the creative effects, Jackson said.
    “Once they do that, video games can be designed to optimize the development of creativity while retaining their entertainment values,” she added.

Hacking gets easy with smartphones

2011-10-19T23:54:00.001-07:00

Hacking gets easy with smartphones

Smartphone users, beware! Hackers could use your mobile to find out what you are typing on a nearby computer at your workplace, say researchers.
    A team at the Georgia Institute of Technology in the US has claimed that a cell phone could be turned into a SpiPhone as it can decipher vibrations to record what is being typed on a nearby computer keyboard.
    The researchers have, in fact, discovered how to do it using a smartphone accelerometer — the internal device that detects when and how the phone is tilted. They have found it can be harnessed to sense keyboard vibrations and decipher complete sentences with up to 80% accuracy.
    “We first tried our experiments with an iPhone 3GS, and the results were difficult to read. But then we tried an iPhone 4, which has an added gyroscope to clean up the accelerometer noise, and the results were much better.
    “We believe that most smartphones made in the past two years are sophisticated enough to launch this attack,” the ‘Daily Mail’ newspaper quoted Patrick Traynor, who led the team, as saying. The technique works by using mathematical software that detects pairs of keystrokes, rather than individual letters.
    Hackers can then determine whether the pair of keys pressed is on the left or right side of the keyboard, and whether they are close together or far apart, say the researchers. After the system has determined these characteristics for each pair of keys pressed, using probability it compares the results against a preloaded dictionary

2011-10-17T04:59:00.001-07:00

Mean girls? Blame it on reality TV

Washington: Girls who regularly watch reality television expect — and accept — more bullying and drama in their lives, a just-released study in the US suggested.
    They also assign more value to physical appearances, and to view themselves as leaders and role models, according to the nationwide survey by the research wing of the Girl Scouts of the US.
    Some 1,141 girls aged 11 through 17 took part in the survey conducted in April that offers a snapshot of the impact reality TV might be having on youngsters as they go through adolescence.
    “We had no idea what we were going to find,” Kimberlee Salmond, senior researcher at the Girl Scout Research Institute, said on Friday.
    “We were kind of surprised to find such a huge difference between girls who regularly consume reality TV and those who don’t,” she said. “And in general, most girls actually think that reality TV is real and unscripted television.”
    In the US, watching television remains “the number one activity” for American girls, taking up about 12 hours of their time every week, Salmond said.
    Out of all girls surveyed, and Salmond said the sample was representative of American society, about half are regular reality TV viewers — and their outlook on life differed from that of their peers who prefer other programming.
    Seventy-eight per cent of the reality TV watchers were more likely to agree that gossiping was normal in relationships between girls, compared with 54% who did not among the rest of the girls surveyed.
    Reality TV fans were also more likely to believe that girls must compete for a boy’s attention, that dating and boyfriends makes them happier.

Babies can smell moms milk

2011-10-08T05:19:00.000-07:00

Babies can smell moms milk

Just like adults who cannot resist the smell of tasty food,hungry babies too can sniff out their mothers milk,a new study has suggested.
Researchers from the national centre for scientific research in Dijon,France,found that newborns are guided to their food supply by their noses.
And this is because tiny glands on the breast produce a fluid with a smell that hungry babies find irresistible,the researchers said.
In the study,newborns were found to feed more and put on weight more quickly when feeding from mothers had lots of glands,which are visible to the naked eye as small bumps around the nipple,the Daily Mail reported.
According to the researchers,the scent could be used to teach tube-fed premature babies how to breast feed.This would help them do better when they are eventually able to feed naturally,they said.
It was already known that the number of so-called areolar glands often increase during pregnancy,and that they sometimes leak small amounts of liquid.It had been thought the fluid was used to lubricate the skin,but now it seems it also whets the babys appetite.
The French researchers,who reported their findings in the New Scientist magazine,looked at 121 mothers and counted the number of glands on their nipples in the first three days after birth.
It was found that women with more than nine of the glands per breast started to produce milk sooner than those with fewer glands,and their babies also gained weight more quickly.The effect was especially noticeable in first-time mothers,whose babies also fed more frequently

Take the best bedroom secrets and use them in the boardroom

2011-10-08T05:09:00.001-07:00

Take the best bedroom secrets and use them in the boardroom

It is not advisable to take work into the bedroom,but sometimes,it is advisable to take your best bedroom mindgames into the boardroom.We show you how to use it and get ahead in office.

SKILL COUNTS,NOT SIZE

If youre a newbie at a multi-national company,you could get intimidated by all the Whartonreturns and the ISB talk.While it is true that a string of degrees ups your market value,there is something to be said for innate intelligence and its application.Abhay Aima,the director of a leading bank,calls it streetsmartness.Universities show you how to go down a path and that works sometimes,because in a corporate scenario,everyone is on the same path.But the mind gets regimented to a particular way of operating. Many successful people Dhirubhai Ambani,Steve Jobs,Bill Gates,Ted Turner and Michael Dell are in fact,college drop-outs.
Fervent note-taking,patient listening and good old hard work can take you farther than a degree ever can.Like Albert Einstein said,Everyone is a genius.But if you choose to judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree,it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.

FOREPLAY COMES FIRST

Everyone you work with clients,colleagues,team members and shareholders like to be interacted with in areas other than work.Shiva of betterloverseminar.com,who coaches men to be better lovers,emphasizes goal-less practise.You should not do it with the objective of making the partner orgasm.This puts needless pressure on the recipient. Now replace orgasm with clinching a deal.Find things to talk about and do,other than work.This method will prove to be easier than bossing or bullying work out of a employee or colleague.

THE G SPOT

A good manager should know his employees buttons.This is an innate skill that can be developed.Human psychology,by definition,cannot be structured, says Aima.Thats what makes us different from a herd of sheep.You cant get all people to think in a pattern.So when it comes to motivating an employee,you need to understand that persons nature.Some people need a pat on the back,some on the thigh,and some a kick on the backside, says Aima.You have to gauge what drives a certain human being.

DONT BE PREDICTABLE

Romance has its place,but you need to pick your moments and keep them rare for them to really mean something.The same thing goes for positive reinforcement.A boss who starts with the first desk and goes about systematically praising everyone will not be taken seriously, says Aima.This positive reinforcement stops being effective after a while.To leave your lover yearning for more is the recipe for enduring chemistry.The balance,though,is delicate.

Its difficult to understand a GIRL

2011-09-29T01:46:00.002-07:00

GIRL FACTS:

When a girl bumps into your arm

while walking she wants

you to hold her hand

When she wants a hug

she will just stand there

When u break a girls heart,

she still feels it when

u run into each other 3 years later

When a girl is quiet,

millions of things are running through her

mind.

When a girl is not arguing,

she is thinking deeply.

When a girl looks at you with eyes full of

questions,

she is wondering how long you will be

around.

When a girl answers, "I'm fine, " after a

few seconds,

she is not at all fine.

When a girl stares at you,

she is wondering why you are so

wonderful.

When a girl lays her head on your chest,

she is wishing for you to be hers forever.

When a girl says that she can't live

without you,

she has made up her mind that you are

her future.

When a girl says, "I miss you, "

no one in this world can miss you more

than that

When a girl is mean to you after a breakup

she wants you back, but she's

scared she'll get hurt.

but still you can never know a girl's heart.

(Facts)men and women expectations!!!

2011-09-29T01:46:00.000-07:00

*Men and Women* *~Some Interesting Facts~*

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't want

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

Married men live longer than single men.
But married men are a lot more willing to die.

Any married man should forget his mistakes.
No sense two people remembering the same thing

Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does.

A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

(Especially For Ladies)Good Ones

2011-09-29T01:45:00.001-07:00

The Silent Treatment

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day,he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.

Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM " He left it where he knew she would find it.

The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM . Wake up."

Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.

WIFE VS. HUSBAND

A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position.

As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"

"Yep," the wife replied , " in-laws"

WOMEN'S REVENGE

"Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase.

As she fumbled for her wallet I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.
"So, do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked.
"No," she replied, " but my husband refused to come shopping with me,and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally."

W O R D S

A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day. 30,000 to a man's 15,000.

The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men...

The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"

CREATION

A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.

" The wife responded, "Allow me to explain.

God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me;
God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!

WHO DOES WHAT

A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning.

The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee."

The husband said, " You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee."

Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee."

Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me." So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says ..........."HEBREWS"

God may have created man before woman, but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece.

Who enjoys sex more, the man or the woman?

2011-09-29T01:43:00.000-07:00

Did you know that 60% of all women are battered?
And I've been eating plain all this time!

Did you hear about the Tempura House?
It's for lightly battered women.

What is the difference between a one night stand and a toilet?
The toilet doesn't follow you around after you use it.

What do Lifesavers do that a man can't?
Come in eight flavors.

What happens if a woman puts her panties on backwards?
She gets her ass chewed out.

What is the difference between a computer and a woman?
A computer will not laugh at a three-and-a-half-inch floppy.

Who enjoys sex more, the man or the woman?
The woman, of course. Look at it this way. When your ear itches and you put
your little finger in it and wiggle it around, what feels better - your finger
or your ear?

What is the similarity between cunnilingus and the Mafia?
One slip of the tongue and you are in deep shit.

Did you hear about the new "morning after" pill for men?
It changes their blood type.

Did you hear about the male birth control pill?
It's about the size of a marble, you put it in your shoe, and it makes you limp.

If whiskey makes you frisky and gin makes you grin, what makes you pregnant?
Two highballs and a squirt.

How can you tell if your daughter had a good time on her date last night?
Throw her panties against the wall. If they stick, she had a good time.

Did you hear about the new course you can take at school?
Intercourse, you go between periods and you are expected to come.

Did you know there are four different types of orgasms? They are:
The positive orgasm: "Oh yes, Ohh yesss, OH YESSSS!"
The negative orgasm: "Oh no, Ohh nooo, OH NOOO!"
The spiritual orgasm: "Oh god, Ohh goddd, OH GODDD!"
The fake orgasm: "Oh Steve, Ohh Steeeve, OH STEEEEEEEEVE!"

Did you hear about the girl who went fishing with her six male friends?
She came home with a red snapper.

Did you hear about the horny seminary school dropout?
He was looking for a missionary position.

Did you hear about the transexual college student?
He spent his junior year abroad.

Why are brussel sprouts like pubic hair?
You just push them aside and carry on eating.

How do you keep a man from wanting sex?
You marry him.

What do most men think Mutual Orgasm is?
An insurance company.

What does a man think foreplay is?
a) It's something that you do on the golf course.
b) It's something that occurs 2 minutes before having sex.

What is the biggest problem for an atheist?
No one to talk to during orgasm

Why is masturbation better than intercourse for some?

2011-09-29T01:37:00.000-07:00

How can you tell if your girlfriend's frigid?
When you open her legs, the lights go on.

What was the first obscenity ever heard on T.V.?
"Ward, weren't you a little hard on the Beaver last night?"

What's green and eats nuts?
Herpes!

What did the banana say to the vibrator?
What are you shaking for? I'm the one she's going to eat!

What did the corn chip say to the battery?
If your Eveready, I'm Frito Lay!

What's the ultimate in rejection?
When you're masturbating, your hand falls asleep.

Why is masturbation better than intercourse for some?
1. You know who you're dealing with.
2. You know when you've had enough.
3. You don't have to be polite afterward.

Why is it good for young boys to read Playboy and Penthouse?
It improves hand-eye coordination.

What's another name for a sex-change operation?
Artificial infemination.

What's the connection between a soya been and a vibrator?
Both are meat substitutes.

What is it that goes in hard and stiff and comes out soft and wet?
Chewing gum.

What comes one a day?
The mail.
What comes twice a day?
The mailman, when the husband is away!

What are the three words a housewife never wants to here when making love?
Honey, I'm home!

How can you tell if your girlfriend is horny?
You stick your hand down her pants and it feels like you're feeding a horse.

What is the definition of a sadist?
Someone who's kind to a masochist.

What is the definition of indecent?
When it's in long, and it's in hard, and it's in deep, then it's indecent.

Why do men who are bankers make better lovers?
Because they know that there is a substantial penalty for early withdrawal.

What do toys and womens breasts have in common.
They were both originally made for kids, but dad ends up playing with them.

What do spaghetti and women have in common?
They both wiggle when you eat them!

What does a woman and a airplane have in common?
A cockpit.

What is the difference between a hen and a prostitute?
One says cock-ka-doodle-do and the other says any cock will do.

Did you hear about the prostitute who was arrested after she threw her pimp on
an escalator?
She said she wanted to see him go down for a change!

What is the difference between a cheap hooker and an elephant?
One rolls on its back for peanuts and the other one lives in a zoo.

What should a woman say as she guides her lover's tongue toward her clitoris?
This bud's for you!

What goes in dry, comes out wet, and gives warm satisfaction?

2011-09-29T01:31:00.000-07:00

Do you know why it's called sex?
Because it's easier to spell than
Uhhhhh..oooohh...Ahhhhhh....AIIEEEEEEE!!!

What do you call a smiling Roman with pubic hair between his teeth?
Gladiator! (Glad he ate her)

Do you know what the square root of 69 is?
Ate something. (8.xxxxxxx....)

But do you know what 6.9 is?
A good thing fucked up by a period.

What is 69 squared?
Dinner for 4.

What is 68?
You do me and I owe you one.

Q. What's the speed limit on sex?
68. At 69, she'll blow a rod.
or
68. At 69, you have to turn around.

What is the meaning of 6.9 for a woman?
69 interrupted by a period! (ouch..gross!)

What has a whole bunch of little balls and screws old ladies?
A bingo machine.

What have you got if you have two fuzzy green balls in the palm of your hand?
Kermit's undivided attention.

What is the difference between hard and dark.
It stays dark all night long.

What is the hardest thing about eating a vegetable?
Getting him/her in and out of the wheelchair!

What goes in dry, comes out wet, and gives warm satisfaction?
A teabag.

What is the difference between "Oooh!" and "Aaah!"?
About three inches.

What is six inches long, two inches wide, has a head on it, and women are crazy
for it?
Money!!!

What is the difference between a good girl and a nice girl?
A nice girl goes out on a date, goes home, and goes to bed.
A good girl goes out on a date, goes to bed, and then goes home.

What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree?
Hold on to your nuts, this is going to be a hell of a blowjob!

What do you do in case of fallout?
Put it back in and take shorter strokes!

What did Adam say to Eve?
You'd better stand back, I don't know how big this thing gets.

What's old wrinkled and smells like Ginger Rogers?
Fred Astair's face.

What is green and smells like pork?
Kermit's middle finger.

Why do women have two holes so close together?
In case you miss.

What's natural dental floss?
Pubic hair.

When does a Cub Scout become a Boy Scout?
When he eats his first Brownie.

What is better than a rose on your piano?
Tulips on your organ

What is worse than a dead dog on your piano?
A diseased pussy on your organ.

What should a woman do if a pit bull starts to hump her leg?
Fake an orgasm.

What is better than a cold Bud?
A warm Busch!

Drink too much coffee? Blame it on your genes

2011-09-19T03:27:00.001-07:00

Drink too much coffee? Blame it on your genes

Researchers claim to have for the first time identified a gene which plays a role in influencing how much coffee people drink.
    A team from Queensland Institute of Medical Research, led by Dr Enda Byrne, says coffee is the most popular beverage in the world, but there’s a small genetic variant in population that determines how people react to coffee and explains why some will consume coffee at higher levels while others won’t.
    “Our study found coffee consumption isn’t only influenced by genes, but caffeine can also affect the expression of genes. With caffeine impacting gene expression, we believe that caffeine then influences chemical pathways in the body.
    “We also found a link between caffeine genes and other complex conditions, such as hypertension and Parkinson’s disease. Our study showed there were changes in the expression of genes previously linked to Parkinson’s disease after exposure to caffeine. This follows previous studies that have shown caffeine to be protective against Parkinson’s disease.
    “While this finding relates directly to coffee consumption, it provides another small piece of the puzzle and could lead to further discoveries around the affect of caffeine on a range of complex disorders,” Dr Byrne said.
    The researchers looked at genes across the entire human genome of over 18,000 participants. “By comparing data from identical and non-identical twins we can establish how much of who we are is determined by our genes and how much is influenced by environment. Twins help us understand how small genetic changes can have large impacts on our health,” she said.

This one is for the boys.

2011-09-07T03:05:00.001-07:00

This one is for the boys. Especially the ones who really believed their girl when she said she was sick and called off that date. A recent UK study says that women spend around 2,800 a week, and around 7,230,000 in a lifetime, on their makeup. But it doesn’t stop there. It goes on to state that 57% ladies who responded to the study said that they’d rather ditch a guy on a date, than their makeup. As atrocious as it sounds, we had to find out if it was the same case with Delhi girls, and here’s the verdict.
    Financial consultant Krittika Sharma, 23, says, “You know it actually depends on when the date is – evening or morning. Like, girls are more likely to put makeup in the evening than in the morning, so chances of cancellation are more then. Evening means assembling a whole look – dress, makeup and the works, whereas morning is simpler.” Well, here’s a tip guys, go for a morning coffee date rather than an elaborate dinner.
    And it’s not only the time of the day, but the weather as well, that helps in decision-making. After all, no girl wants her makeup dripping off on a rainy day, does she? Dipika Gambhir, 24, who spends around 3000 a month on cosmetics, says that makeup really does matter when it comes to cancellation of dates. “It is true I think. It actually depends on the weather also.” The weather? “Yeah, if the weather is nice or not. Also, dates scheduled in the evening may get turned down more often, if the girl isn’t feeling too good about her looks. Evening is a time when all eyes are on her.”
    However some say that all these factors should be overlooked when it comes to the matters of the heart. “If this study is actually true, then I would like to meet such women! If a girl ditches a guy for makeup, well, then the guy is better off,” says Zuleikha Gupta, 25, research associate, adding, “I usually spend around one to two grand on makeup per month, and that seems enough. I don’t want to look like a made-up mannequin.”
    Mansi Chatpalliwar, 23, student, however, tries to see sense in both arguments and adds, “I generally wear kajal and gloss, and I highly doubt that if I forget to wear my kajal, I’ll ditch my date. But you know, for some women, its more about the whole ‘look’, and this is especially true for the evenings. If it’s a special date, they have the shoes, the dress and the makeup ready. And if something goes wrong, and they feel the look isn’t complete, they might call in sick. Though, this is a little bit too extreme for me. If the dress and the makeup isn’t going together, then ditch the dress for a pair of jeans, not the guy.”

The Chinese zodiac

2011-09-04T00:50:00.000-07:00

The Chinese zodiac can also tell you what genre of books you are fond of reading...

The Chinese signs of the animals dictate your personality, whom you love, what you hate, and how you behave. And many women believe it also influences what you read. So, what do the animals think should be on your book shelf ? Calculate your Chinese sign, and get going… RAT: The charming, imaginative Rat is an eclectic reader. Curious and witty by nature, she loves a good murder mystery or a thriller. And don’t ignore that romantic streak – and of course, the love for reading romances. OX: The semi-serious book, women’s literature is just for her. She’s quiet, strong, and knows her beliefs, and wants. She’s also fond of non-fiction reads TIGER: Impatient and always looking for adventure, suspense thrillers are just the books for you. RABBIT: She’s gentle, and soft, and enjoys reading easy romances - those of the humourous, romantic variety. DRAGON: Drama and saga lovers. Old fashioned romances were written just for you. SNAKE: Anything that forces you to think deep and hard is for you. You love to read and then reflect. HORSE: You look for mental and physical workouts in books. Something that challenges your established norms and beliefs. You also love self-help and motivational books SHEEP: This well-mannered, demure woman loves romances – and the darker varieties of romantic books. “Wuthering Heights” was written just for you. MONKEY: Slapstick comedies, rom-coms… ROOSTER: News, current stuff is what you want. Even newspaper interests you. DOG: You want books that make you laugh and also satisfy your nosiness PIG: You care about what happens around you and so, books that deal with social issues is what you love on your bookshelf.

US porn industry shuts down as star tests positive for HIV

2011-09-01T05:27:00.000-07:00

US porn industry shuts down as star tests positive for HIV

Pornography film shoots across the United States have been largely shut down after an industry trade group called for a moratorium because an adultfilm performer tested positive for HIV, officials with the organization said on Tuesday.
    The temporary moratorium recommended by the Los Angeles based Free Speech Coalition comes as public health advocates escalated calls for greater enforcement of laws requiring porn stars to wear condoms.
    The Free Speech Coalition said it learned on Saturday that a porn film performer who has not been publicly identified had initially tested positive for HIV.
    The performer received a preliminary positive result for HIV, the virus that causes AIDS, at a health facility outside of California. The San Fernando Valley suburb of Los Angeles has long been a leading hub of the porn industry.
    Further diagnostic testing was needed to confirm the performer was HIV positive, the trade group said.

‘Women gossip for five hours a day’

2011-08-17T04:37:00.001-07:00

‘Women gossip for five hours a day’

London: Women never change, it seems. The average female spends five hours a day gossiping — whether they are at home or at work, a new survey has found.
    According to the British survey, women natter for 298 minutes daily — in fact, discussing other people’s problems, who’s dating who and other people’s children form the basis of most chats; other subjects cropping up most regularly include sex, shopping and soaps.
    The survey also found that women spend 24 minutes a day discussing their weight, diets and dress size. One third say they spend a chunk of their day discussing what they are eating for lunch, while a quarter regularly exchange recipes. Other topics include what cosmetic surgery procedures they would like, what the mother-in-law has said, and which celebrities they fantasize about, ‘Daily Express’ reported.
    Those with friendly neighbours spend nearly half-an-hour a week having a gossip or a moan together. Most women prefer chatting to their friends to anyone else but say they talk to their partner, mum and their best friend about completely different things, the survey revealed.
    Husbands are most likely to get the brunt of work talk, with a daily update from their other half on how their day has gone and who has annoyed them, whereas a woman is more likely to gossip with their best friend.

Hard truth: Diamonds aren’t forever

2011-07-19T03:45:00.001-07:00

Hard truth: Diamonds aren’t forever

Diamonds aren’t forever. Yes, the Earth’s hardest naturally occurring material can evaporate when exposed to intense ultraviolet rays, a new study reveals.
    Researchers, led by Macquarie University, have shown that diamonds, the Earth’s hardest naturally occurring material, evaporate under exposure to light, the ‘Optical Materials Express’ journal reported.
    “Although this type of lightinduced evaporation has been observed in some materials, this is the first time it’s been shown to occur for diamond,” Prof Richard Mildren, who led the research team, said.
    In the research, the diamonds were exposed to intense light pulses in the UV-C band (the harsh ultraviolet rays filtered out by the ozone layer), and small pits in the diamond surface were visible after only a few seconds.
    The rate of mass loss in the diamond fell notably for lower light levels but the etching process still continued — albeit at a slower and slower pace, Prof Mildren said.
    But diamond lovers, there’s no need to panic. The researchers have found that the rate of evaporation is very small and not noticeable under normal conditions. In fact, even under very bright UV conditions, such as intense sunlight or under a UV tanning lamp, it would take approximately the age of the universe — some 10 billion years — to see an observable distance, he said.
    The findings provide clues about the long- term stability of diamonds, and have broad implications for future research.

It pays to remember

2011-07-16T04:27:00.000-07:00

It pays to remember, search engines ruining our memory

T he widespread use of search engines and online databases has affected the way people remember information, researchers are reporting.
    The scientists, led by Betsy Sparrow, an assistant professor of psychology at Columbia, wondered whether people were more likely to remember information that could be easily retrieved from a computer, just as students are more likely to recall facts they believe will be on a test.
    Dr Sparrow and her collaborators, Daniel M Wegner of Harvard and Jenny Liu of the University of Wisconsin, Madison, staged four different memory experiments. In one, participants typed 40 bits of trivia — for example, “an ostrich’s eye is bigger than its brain” — into a computer. Half of the subjects believed the information would be saved in the computer; the other half believed the items they typed would be erased.
    The subjects were significantly more likely to remember information if they thought they would not be able to find it later. “Participants did not make the effort to remember when they thought they could later look up the trivia statement they had read,” the authors write.
    A second experiment was aimed at determining whether computer accessibility affects precisely what we remember. “If asked the question whether there are any countries with only one color in their flag, for example,” the researchers wrote, “do we think about flags — or immediately think to go online to find out?”
    In this case, participants were asked to remember both the trivia statement itself and which of five computer folders it was saved in. The researchers were surprised to find that people seemed better able to recall the folder.
    The experiment explores an aspect of what is known as transactive memory — the notion that we rely on our family, friends and co-workers as well as reference material to store information for us. “I love watching baseball,” Dr. Sparrow said. “But I know my husband knows baseball facts, so when I want to know something I ask him, and I don’t bother to remember it.

Know your nose: There are 14 types

2011-07-14T05:39:00.000-07:00

Know your nose: There are 14 types

You need to have a nose for this news — there’re 14 types of the vital organ on the human face, according to a researcher. Professor Abraham Tamir of Ben-Gurion University in Israel has completed what he claims is the first survey of its type to classify and record the different shapes of the human nose.
    This revealed there are 14 types of nose, with classifications ranging from “fleshy” to “celestial”. The most common, particularly among men, was fleshy nose, best illustrated by Prince Philip.
    Tamir says those with such a nose are likely to be generous, emotional, helpful and sensitive. But it is not all good news. In the professor’s opinion, both the “fleshy” and the “hawk” are among the least attractive.
    The Roman nose, seen on actor Tom Cruise, was sported by 9%, who were ambitious, courageous and clear-thinking. Harry Potter star Daniel Radcliffe joins the 9% who sported an aquiline nose, said to symbolize a cool tactician with a business mind. Some 13% had celestial noses.
    These, the professor believes, are most attractive along with the snub noses found on 5%. But while the snub shape may be attractive, it is not necessary a blessing.
    Tamir said: “The snub nose is a small nose. People with this frequently lack spiritual and physical maturity.” Kate Middleton, however, can also claim an attractive nose.
    “Women like a nose like Angelina Jolie — a very delicate nose with no bulk. Men like straighter noses,” he said.

Romance novels harm women’s emotional health,

2011-07-14T05:31:00.000-07:00

Romance novels harm women’s emotional health,

    Swooning beauties, swashbuckling heroes, love’s thunderclaps. What’s life without a bit of romantic fantasy? Yet romance novels – of the Harlequin and Mills & Boon genre – face flak as supposedly injurious to women’s emotional and sexual health. An article by relationship counsellor Susan Quilliam, in a British academic journal, suggests romance fiction breeds outlandish hopes and encourages reckless sexual conduct. So, women must junk chick-lit and get real. But hold it right there. A study shows 60% of such consumers are married. Most are educated and aged between 31 and 50. To say countless adult women can’t tell truth from fiction is to devalue their grey cells.
    Nor is there evidence teenage readers grow into incurable romantics unsuited for steady relationships or home-making. Clearly, Quilliam takes a very clinical and negative view of escapist literature. Men and women both have secret hopes about love. It’s what makes them endearingly human, rather than fit cases for finger-wagging or ‘corrective’ counselling. Romance fiction sells because it fulfils deep yearnings. It also reflects a universal reality: everybody fantasises. If a taste for magic means automatic inability to accept flawed flesh-and-blood partners, people wouldn’t be pairing up everywhere all the time.
    Besides, cinema sells dreams as well. It depicts doomed, everlasting love (Titanic), shows impossible love as reachable (Pretty
Woman) or celebrates love as destiny (Hum Tum). All are variations on a theme: the romantic ideal. Why, even literary classics fete fairy-tale endings and undying passion. Must we then frown upon Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice or Emily Bronte’s Wuthering Heights? War stories or spy novels, with their heroic exploits, can be as addictive. If their fans don’t have problems adjusting to reality, surely romance buffs can manage as well. It’s dangerous escapism Deep K Datta-Ray
    The Mills & Boon genre of romantic fiction has never had much to say for itself as literature. If that’s contested as a matter of opinion, the fact is that romance novels can mar people’s ability to keep a grip on reality. They generate unrealistic expectations about love and sex. Psychologist Susan Quilliam notes
that the novels make women ‘suspend rationality’. Rather than face life, they escape into a dream world. Though it has changed with time, she says the genre still fails miserably in realistically portraying sexual pleasure or the ups and downs of relationships.
The culture of romantic fantasy and the problems it creates has spread to cinema as well. A study of 40 Hollywood romantic comedies found that couples typically report relationship issues arising from watching these movies. But the danger isn’t limited to the psychological sphere. The romance genre can also do physical harm by idealising unsafe behaviour. Safe sex is cast aside: only 11.5% of such novels mention condom use. And repeated pregnancy is held up as the key to a successful relationship. Predictably, there’s no mention of the health risks involved. Nor is it ever suggested that there are many other ways to express love and devotion to one’s partner.
    It’s always been doubtful whether romance novels classify as literature at all. Authors for this type of writing are a dime a dozen, and their mediocre works are an endless rehash of formulaic ideas and themes. Rolling out assembly line products, romantic fiction merely offers well-packaged fluff. Worth some $13.6 billion, the genre dominates the consumer book market by accounting for 13.2% of all sales. The very success of romance novels indicates the extent of the danger they pose to people’s emotional stability.

Women pack twice as many clothes as needed for holiday

2011-07-11T03:24:00.000-07:00

Women pack twice as many clothes as needed for holiday

Women never change, it seems. The average woman packs nearly twice as many clothes as she needs for a holiday, a new study has found.
    The study, based on a survey in Britain, found that women need 34 items for a week-long break, but take 60 “just in case”.
    This means that almost half of the contents of their bags remain unworn.
    Some 58% of the 2,000 women quizzed said they found it difficult to stick to luggage weight limits, with one in five facing extra baggage costs at the airport, the Daily Express reported.
    The average woman carries 19 tops on holidays, but will wear only 10, and comes home with half her 16 pairs of trousers, shorts or leggings unworn.
    But even that’s not enough for some women — 42% also go clothes shopping when on holiday.

Mosquitoes more likely to bite beer drinkers

2011-07-03T05:41:00.001-07:00

Mosquitoes more likely to bite beer drinkers

Beer buffs please take note: You are more likely to be bitten by mosquitoes, as scientists have found that the insects are 15% more likely to fly towards humans after they have consumed a pint or two.
    A team, led by scientists at the IRD Research Centre in Montpellier, France, found that insects are more attracted to odour and breath changes caused by alcohol. The scientists believe mosquitoes could have learnt to associate beer odour with an increased lack of defensiveness against bites from boozy drinkers.
    The findings, they hope, will be used to help prevent malaria, which is spread by mosquitoes and kills 780,000 people worldwide every year, the Daily Mail reported. The researchers tested their theory on 2,500 Anopheles gambiae mosquitoes in Burkino Faso, west Africa.
    They recruited 25 volunteers, aged between 20 and 43, and gave them one litre of their local brew, Dolo, before seeing how many mosquitoes would fly upwind towards them. The insects, fed into a downwind box in batches of 50, were given the option of flying towards traps containing either open air or the human odour of the participant.
    It was found that 47% of mosquitoes were tempted to fly up into either trap after beer consumption — compared to just 35% before beer. And 65% headed for the trap having the human odour after beer, rather than just 50% before it.

joke for adults

2011-07-02T03:19:00.001-07:00

An 85-year-old man went to his doctor's office to get a sperm count.
The doctor gave the man a jar and said,
"Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow."

The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor's office and
Gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day.
The doctor asked what happened and the man explained: "Well, doc, it's like this - First I tried with my right hand, but nothing.
Then I Tried with my left hand, but still nothing.

Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then her
Left, still nothing.

She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth
Out, and still nothing.

We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried too, first
With both hands, then an armpit and she even tried squeezin' it
Between her knees, but still nothing."

The doctor was shocked! "You asked your neighbour to do that?"
The old man replied,

"Yes. And no matter what we tried, we still couldn't get the jar

Now, sun-powered bikini that can charge your iPod

2011-06-05T03:12:00.000-07:00

Now, sun-powered bikini that can charge your iPod

London: Are you fed up of your iPod running out of power when lazing about in a bikini. Now, help is at hand. A New York-based designer has created a solarpowered bikini that can charge everything from an MP3 to a camera. Andrew Schneider’s solar bikini is made of solar panels and cost £120.
He spends up to 80 hours hand-stitching each bikini with 40 paper-thin flexible, photo-voltaic panels and conductive thread. The user can even take a dip. “You just need to be dry before hooking up,” The Daily Mail quoted Schneider as saying. Anyone worried about getting a shock from her swimwear needn’t be. “You wouldn’t even feel the charge,” he added. Schneider is even hoping to create a pair of trunks that can cool beer.

A simple blood test to tell how long you will live

2011-05-17T03:09:00.001-07:00

A simple blood test to tell how long you will live

It Measures Structures on Chromosome Tips Called Telomeres,Which Indicate Speed Of Aging

A blood test that can show how fast someone is aging and offers the tantalising possibility of estimating how long they have left to live is to go on sale to the general public in UK later this year.
The controversial test measures vital structures on the tips of a persons chromosomes,called telomeres,which scientists believe are one of the most important and accurate indicators of the speed at which a person is aging.
Scientists behind the 435 test said it will tell whether a person is biologically aging,as measured by the length of their telomeres,and is older or younger than their actual chronological age,as measured by years since birth.
The scientists,however,do not yet believe they can narrow down the prediction to calculate the exact number of months and years a person has yet to live.They do not yet believe the information could be used to calculate the exact number of years a person has left to live,but several studies have indicated that individuals with shorter-thannormal telomeres are likely to die younger than those with longer telomeres.
Medical researchers believe that telomere testing will become widespread within the next five or 10 years,but there are already some scientists who question its value and whether there should be stronger ethical controls over its wider use.
In addition to concerns about how people will react to a test for how old they really are,some scientists are worried that telomere testing may be hijacked by unscrupulous organisations trying to peddle unproven anti-aging remedies and other fake elixirs of life.
The results of the tests might also be of interest to companies offering life-insurance policies or medical cover that depend on a persons lifetime risk of falling ill or dying prematurely.
However,there is a growing body of respectable scientific opinion that says testing the length of a persons telomeres could provide vital insights into the risk of dying prematurely from a range of age-related disorders,from cardiovascular disease to Alzheimers and cancer.
We know that people who are born with shorter telomeres than normal also have a shorter lifespan, said Maria Blasco of the Spanish National Cancer Research Centre in Madrid,who is the inventor of the new commercial telomere test.But we dont know whether longer telomeres are going to give you a longer lifespan.Thats not really known in humans.
What is new about this test is that it is very precise.We can detect very small differences in telomere length and it is a very simple and fast technique where many samples can be analysed at the same time.Most importantly,we are able to determine the presence of dangerous telomeres those that are very short.
Blascos company,Life Length,is in talks with companies across Europe to market the test and collect blood samples for analysis

Diary of a single girl

2011-05-15T01:59:00.000-07:00

Diary of a single girl

Hot hunks, heady evenings, and happening nights! There’s so much that goes on in the life of a single girl. She’s someone who pulls no punches and stops at nothing!

So who am I? Is that really important? Well, yes, but I was hoping we could get past that. You can call me Sonya. You need a description? Can I just say “Delicious” and let you picture the rest? No? Here goes — I am in my twenties, my leg is 44” from hip to toe and my male friends say I am partly responsible for global warming. Sorry, I won’t give you my vital stats. That’s something you will only find out if you are ever in bed with me. I have shoulder-length dark hair and I’ve never used a fairness cream in my life — and I only say that only because being gori seems to be a priority for an Indian male.
I live in a sea-facing apartment in SoBo. Wish it were mine but am house-sitting for a childhood friend Karan, who has moved to Hong Kong for two years. Currently, I live with three dogs – all mine. And a maid-cum-cook and a driver-cum-man Friday who are part of Karan’s staff. I go to parties that you read about, and I wine and dine with people that you probably fantasise about. I come from a family that is far removed from glamour. But I have graced covers of fashion magazines, walked the ramp and am now looking for a break in films. I like being independent. I make good money, and I love spending it on myself. There is something special about paying your own bills. Unless of course, your man is, and which is kind of hot. I guess it is also a great feeling for a guy to spoil his girl. Which brings us to my relationship status. Well, I am dating someone. I am a true blue Bombay girl, and he is from Delhi. I absolutely c-a-n-n-o-t say what he does except that he delivered a Harry Winston necklace to me the morning after the first time he stayed at my place. We met about four months ago and right now we are in that giddy place where we literally tear each other’s clothes off each time we meet. It’s a sort of a weekend relationship mostly — unless of course the days when one of us is really missing the other, then it’s zip zap zoom to the airport. Hate it that I have to get on a two-hour flight (he insists on sending me the tickets, I don’t argue) me to be with him, but then that’s the price you pay for dating an out-of-towner. Anyway, so I am flying out to the Capital tonight for three days to be with my man. Let’s call him Gere, as in Richard. Because he is just as dishy and has that gorgeous salt-and-pepper hair. And no, he isn’t old. He had grey hair at 19! As long as a guy has hair, you won’t hear me complain. Will report next week. Until then…

Myth busting

2011-05-15T01:50:00.001-07:00

Myth busting

Myth: If you exercise everyday, you can eat anything that you want! The truth is:Never use exercise as your bahana to eat more than you should! Just eat healthy meals that include loads of fresh fruits and vegetables.

Myth: People who get into shape have secret quick-fix solutions or diets The truth is:There is nothing like a quick secret way to lose weight. And no secret diet can get you that million dollar body. There are just different regimes and ways to train that can help you achieve the maximum benefit from your regular gym sessions.

Myth: Lifting weights will give women bulky muscles The truth is: The male hormone, testosterone is what leads to large, bulky muscles – and women do not have that. Weight training only strengthens and tones women’s muscles, but does not make them bulky.

Myth: Going ‘only veggie’ is the healthier option The truth is: Of course, eating a lot of vegetables is great for your system, but that does not mean that you should completely ban the meat. Non-vegetarian meals that have meat in them are an excellent source of iron.

Losing your sex appeal? Stop tweeting, stars told

2011-05-15T01:25:00.001-07:00

Losing your sex appeal? Stop tweeting, stars told

London: Celebrities who bombard fans with Twitter updates are likely to have shorter careers than those who maintain an aura of mystique, according to a survey.
Easy access to stars through social networking websites has made them less appealing and increases the likelihood of followers getting bored, music consumer research by publishers Bauer Media said.
“In this social media age, it’s all too easy to follow your musical icons on a minute-by-minute basis. There’s a consensus within the industry that this ease of access is leading to artists losing appeal more quickly,” the Phoenix IV report said.
The music industry is starting to consider restricting access to certain types of artists in an attempt to boost their staying power in popular culture and lengthen their careers, it added.
Although younger fans surveyed said they were thrilled by the idea of 24-hour access to their favourite stars, older respondents said their interest was tempered by a hankering for the days when stars were “more special.”
“Meeting bands isn’t about waiting for 10 hours outside a gig these days –you can buy a day out with your favourite band. But separation can be good – knowing too much can kill off rock stars,” said Nichola Browne, former editor of music magazine Kerrang!
Many celebrities have embraced Twitter as a way of communicating day-to-day musings as well promotional material with fans.
Tweets on singer Katy Perry’s page i n cl u d e : “What does it mean when you see the number 33 all the time? For instance, I’ve seen it over 7 times today.”
Actress Demi Moore, one of Twitter’s most prolific celebrity users with more than 3.5 million followers, wrote recently: “Kind of digging soft curls with a side part. A good change from straight with a middle part?”

Coffee best way to wake up a woman

2011-05-14T02:25:00.001-07:00

Coffee best way to wake up a woman

Women are most likely to be woken up by the whiff of coffee, while their men prefer the smell of fried food as the best aroma to help get them out of bed to face the day, a survey in Britain has revealed.
However, overall the scent of coffee will kick-start 26% of Britons into life, although 27% of men say the smell of eggs, bacon, sausages and fried bread wafting from the kitchen is the enticement they need to get going in the morning, according to the survey.
A total of 23% of women also say the scent of a zingy shower gel is the best thing to blow the cobwebs away.
Other scents that awaken the senses first thing in the morning include the smell of cut grass drifting indoors favoured by 11% of people. Another 10% say the odour of freshly baked bread is the one they like to wake up to.
And a romantic 5% say the scent of their partner rouses them from sleep.

To achieve your dream,this is your ABC

2011-05-10T00:36:00.001-07:00

Avoid negative sources, people, places, things and habits.
Believe in yourself.
Consider things from every angle.
Don't give up and don't give in.
Enjoy life today, yesterday is gone, tomorrow may never come.
Family and friends are hidden treasures; enjoy their riches.
Give more than you planned to.
Hang on to your dreams.
Ignore those who try to discourage you.
Just do it.
Keep trying no matter how hard it seems, it will get easier.
Love yourself first and most.
Make it happen.
Never lie, cheat or steal, always strike a fair deal.
Open your eyes and see things as they really are.
Practice makes perfect.
Quitters never win and winners never quit.
Read, study and learn about everything important in your life.
Stop procrastinating.
Take control of your own destiny.
Understand yourself in order to better understand others.
Visualize it.
Want it more than anything.
EXcellerate’ your efforts.
You are unique of all God's creations, nothing can replace YOU.
Zero in on your target and go for it!

The pioneers!!!!

2011-05-10T00:35:00.002-07:00

Benz (1886)

Most agree it was Karl Benz who, in January 1886, patented the first proper motor car, equipped with three wheels and a horizontal single-cylinder engine. Speed limits soon followed.

Ford Model T (1908)

"The car that put the world on wheels", or at least America. About 16.5 million were built over a 19-year period. It was the first cheap, mass-produced automobile.

Mini (1959)

With the engine sideways and front-wheel drive, it made for a supremely spacious little car with excellent handling (evidenced by its many race and rally wins). Many followed the formula. Although rusty and noisy, it remains an icon.

Jeep (1942)

It did help to win the Second World War. The Americans needed a car for difficult terrain, and Willy-Overland designed a rugged, 4-wheel drive general purpose vehicle, or GP, hence Jeep.

Toyota Corolla (1966)

More people (over 28 million) have bought one of these vehicles than any other single make of car. It is now made throughout the world making it, arguably, the first global car.

Chrysler Airflow (1934)

Not an especially aerodynamic car, but no other shape before it made the case for the sort of streamlining so commonplace today. Designed in a wind tunnel.

Renault Espace (1984)

Few designs have been as pleasingly inventive at carrying lots of people and kit in comfort. Where would families be without it or the copycat designs it spawned?

Honda FCX (2004)

The FCX is the only hydrogen fuel-cell vehicle certified by the US Environment Protection Agency and thus, the best chance of being weaned from gasoline.

Toyota Prius (1999)

One of the first of the modern breed of "hybrid" cars, with conventional petrol engines plus electric motors. High fuel economy, low emissions. How to help save the planet.

VW Beetle (1936)

Showed the world how to make a truly durable car, mirrored in its emtremely long production run - the last one having rolled off the line in Mexico in 2003.

Before & After marriage

2011-05-10T00:35:00.000-07:00

Before the marriage:

He: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait.
She: Do you want me to leave?
He: NO! Don't even think about it.
She: Do you love me?
He: Of course!
She: Have you ever cheated on me?
He: NO! Why you even asking?
She: Will you kiss me?
He: Yes!
She: Will you hit me?
He: No way! I'm not such kind of person!
She: Can I trust you?
He: Yes.

Now after the marriage you can read it from below to up !!!!

Can you speak these lines???

2011-05-10T00:34:00.001-07:00

ALL THE BEST.......

If you understand, say "understand" . If you don't understand, say "don't understand". But if you understand and say "don't understand". How do I understand that you understand? Understand!
I wish to wish the wish you wish to wish, but if you wish the wish the witch wishes, I won't wish the wish you wish to wish.
Sounding by sound is a sound method of sounding sounds.
A sailor went to sea to see, what he could see. And all he could see was sea, sea, sea.
Purple Paper People, Purple Paper People, Purple Paper People
If two witches were watching two watches, which witch would watch which watch?
I thought a thought.But the thought I thought wasn't the thought I thought I thought. If the thought I thought I thought had been the thought I thought, I wouldn't have thought so much.
Once a fellow met a fellow In a field of beans. Said a fellow to a fellow, "If a fellow asks a fellow, Can a fellow tell a fellow What a fellow means?"
Mr Inside went over to see Mr Outside. Mr Inside stood outside and called to MrOutside inside. Mr Outside answered Mr Inside from inside and Told Mr Inside to come inside. Mr Inside said "NO", and told Mr Outside to come outside. MrOutside and Mr Inside argued from inside and outside about going outside or coming inside. Finally, Mr Outside coaxed Mr Inside to come inside, then both Mr Outside and Mr Inside went outside to the riverside.
SHE SELLS SEA SHELLS ON THE SEA SHORE , BUT THE SEA SHELLS THAT SHE SELLS, ON THE SEA SHORE ARE NOT THE REAL ONES
The owner of the inside inn was inside his inside inn with his inside outside his inside inn.
If one doctor doctors another doctor does the doctor who doctors the doctor doctor the doctor the way the doctor he is doctoring doctors? Or does the doctor doctor the way the doctor who doctors doctors? "When a doctor falls ill another doctor doctor's the doctor. Does the doctor doctoring the doctor doctor the doctor in his own way or does the doctor doctoring the doctor doctors the doctor in the doctor's way"
We surely shall see the sun shine shortly. Whether the weather be fine, Or whether the weather be not, Whether the weather be cold Or whether the weather be hot, We'll weather the weather Whatever the weather, Whether we like it or not. watch? Whether the weather is hot. Whether the weather is cold. Whether the weather is either or not. It is whether we like it or not.
.Nine nice night nurses nursing nicely.
.A flea and a fly in a flue Said the fly "Oh what should we do" Said the flea" Let us fly Said the fly"Let us flee" So they flew through a flaw in the flue
If you tell Tom to tell a tongue-twister his tongue will be twisted as tongue-twister twists tongues.
Mr. See owned a saw.And Mr. Soar owned a seesaw. Now See's saw sawed Soar's seesaw Before Soar saw See, Which made Soar sore.Had Soar seen See's saw Before See sawed Soar's seesaw, See's saw would not have sawed Soar's seesaw. So See's saw sawed Soar's seesaw.But it was sad to see Soar so sore Just because See's saw sawed Soar's seesaw.....

Can you speak these lines???

You see a gorgeous girl at a party

2011-05-10T00:33:00.001-07:00

A Professor at one of the IIMs was explaining marketing concepts to the Students:

1. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: "I am very rich.
"Marry me!" - That's Direct Marketing"

2. You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl. One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says: "He's very rich.
"Marry him." -That's Advertising"

3. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and get her telephone number. The next day, you call and say: "Hi, I'm very rich.
"Marry me - That's Telemarketing"

4. You're at a party and see gorgeous girl. You get up and straighten your tie, you walk up to her and pour her a drink, you open the door (of the car)for her, pick up her bag after she drops it, offer her ride and then say:"By the way, I'm rich. Will you
"Marry Me?" - That's Public Relations"

5. You're at a party and see gorgeous girl. She walks up to you and says:"You are very rich!
"Can you marry ! me?" - That's Brand Recognition"

6. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: "I am very rich. Marry me!" She gives you a nice hard slap on your face. -
"That's Customer Feedback"

7. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: "I am very rich. Marry me!" And she introduces you to her husband. -
"That's demand and supply gap"

8. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before you say anything, another person come and tell her: "I'm rich. Will you marry me?" and she goes with him -
"That's competition eating into your market share"

9. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before you say: "I'm rich, Marry me!" your wife arrives. -
"That's restriction for entering new markets"

All humans are born liars, we are not fibbing

2011-05-09T03:26:00.001-07:00

All humans are born liars, we are not fibbing

London: If your child lies at three, be delighted, if they lie at seven, be very afraid but please don’t fret about telling fibs — it’s what that makes us human, says a new book. According to the book, ‘Born Liars’, penned by Ian Leslie, people are “all born liars”. Between the ages of two and four, children’s lies are usually told to avoid punishment. Very young children tend not to be good at lying. Then, at around the age of four something changes, it says.
The book claims that somewhere between the ages of three-and-a-half and fourand-a-half, children learn how to lie with much greater skill and enthusiasm. According to the book, lying is hard and children who lie well must be able to recognize the truth, conceive of an alternative, false but coherent story and juggle those two versions in their mind, while selling the alternative reality to someone else — all the time bearing in mind what the other person is likely to be thinking and feeling.
It is wondrous that a child of four should be able to do this — if you catch your three-year-old in a well-told lie, be impressed — but don’t congratulate them, it says.
However, the number of lies told by children tends to spike among those aged four as they exercise their amazing new powers, but it usually declines during their first school years, as the child receives social feedback.
Kids learn that the benefits of lying come at a hefty price. They find that if they lie too much, teachers and friends lose faith in their credibility and they become unpopular, says the author.
The majority of children learn not to lie instinctively, but a few remain impervious to it. Persistent lying in older children is usually the sign of a deeper malaise, according to the book. If a child is lying habitually after the age of seven, they may continue to do so for years to come, even into adulthood.

Porn websites flop in India, but succeed in US

2011-05-04T01:03:00.002-07:00

The U.S. is a fertile ground for porn websites as eight of the top 100 websites in that country are sex related, while India has two porn sites among its top 100.

The findings, based on the Alexa's list of top 100 websites in U.S. and India, highlights that the six sites like RedTube, Youporn, Tube8.com, Xvideo.com, XNXX Gallerie and Megaporn are exclusive in the U.S. list.
The websites Pornhub and Adult Friendfinder are popular both in U.S. and India. "The prime hesitation towards these websites in India is the current outlook towards porn. Till there is a significant shift in the attitude towards porn and it is legalized in the country, investment in this sector is not possible," said a venture capitalist (VC) of a leading venture firm, requesting anonymity.

The distaste towards matrimonial site in U.S. is clearly visible as no such site has found a place under top 100, while in India, matrimonial sites such as shadi.com, jeevansathi.com, Bharat Matrimony.com have found a prominent place in the list. Entertainment websites such as www.imdb.com, Exbii.com, songs.pk, Santabanta.com and social networking sites like Face Book, Orkut, Hi5, Tagged, My space and PerfSpot lead in India. In terms of the popularity of E-commerce, online advertising and blogs oriented websites, India and the U.S. look almost similar, while search engines and news portals are in the growing stage.

"Had the porn sector been legal and the profit margins would have been high, there would have been some interest among the VCs to approach the sector. In the real scene, porn is not a huge industry in terms of revenue, rather it is huge due to advertisements and viewership," said Anil Syal, Gaja Capital Partners, a private equity firm.

Did you know

2011-05-04T01:03:00.000-07:00

Spray your TUPPERWARE with nonstick cooking spray before pouring in tomato based sauces and there won't be any stains.

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Wrap celery in aluminum foil when putting in the refrigerator and it will keep for weeks.

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When boiling corn on the cob, add a pinch of sugar to help bring out the corn's natural sweetness

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Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half, and rub it on your forehead.
The throbbing will go away.

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Don't throw out all that leftover wine: Freeze into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces

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To get rid of itch from mosquito bites, try applying soap on the area and you will experience instant relief.

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Ants, ants, ants everywhere .. Well, they are said to never cross a chalk line.
So, get your chalk out and draw a line on the floor or wherever ants tend to march.

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Use air-freshener to clean mirrors..
It does a good job and better still, leaves a lovely smell to the shine.

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When you get a splinter, reach for the scotch tape before resorting to tweezers or a needle. Simply put the scotch tape over the splinter, and then pull it off.
Scotch tape removes most splinters painlessly and easily.

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Now look what you can do with Alka Seltzer ( Tablets used for cleaning purpose).... ....
Clean a toilet.
Drop in two Alka Seltzer tablets, wait twenty minutes, brush and flush.
The citric acid and effervescent action clean vitreous China .

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Clean a vase.
To remove a stain from the bottom of a glass vase or cruet, fill with water and drop in two Alka Seltzer tablets.

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Polish jewelry.
Drop two Alka Seltzer tablets into a glass of water and immerse the jewelry for two minutes.

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Clean a thermos bottle.
Fill the bottle with water, drop in four Alka Seltzer tablets, and let soak for an hour (or longer, if necessary).

Tax Structure in India,, Funny but True..

2011-05-04T01:02:00.001-07:00

Question 1. : What are you doing?
Ans. : Business.
Tax : PAY PROFESSIONAL TAX!

Question 2 : What are you doing in Business?
Ans. : Selling the Goods.
Tax : PAY SALES TAX!!

Question 3 : From where are you getting Goods?
Ans. : From other State/Abroad
Tax : PAY CENTRAL SALES TAX, CUSTOM DUTY & OCTROI!

Question 4 : What are you getting in Selling Goods?
Ans. : Profit.
Tax : PAY INCOME TAX!

Question 5: How do you distribute profit ?
Ans : By way of dividend
Tax : PAY DIVIDEND DISTRIBUTION TAX

Question 6 : Where you Manufacturing the Goods?
Ans. : Factory.
Tax : PAY EXCISE DUTY!

Question 7 : Do you have Office / Warehouse / Factory?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY MUNICIPAL & FIRE TAX!

Question 8 : Do you have Staff?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY STAFF PROFESSIONAL TAX!

Question 9 : Doing business in Millions?
Ans. : Yes -- Tax : PAY TURNOVER TAX!
Ans : No -- Tax : Then pay Minimum Alternate Tax

Question 10 : Are you taking out over 25,000 Cash from Bank?
Ans. : Yes, for Salary.
Tax : PAY CASH HANDLING TAX!

Question 11 : Where are you taking your client for Lunch & Dinner?
Ans. : Hotel
Tax : PAY FOOD & ENTERTAINMENT TAX!

Question 12 : Are you going Out of Station for Business?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY FRINGE BENEFIT TAX!

Question 13 : Have you taken or given any Service / (s)?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY SERVICE TAX!

Question 14 : How come you got such a Big Amount?
Ans. : Gift on birthday.
Tax : PAY GIFT TAX!

Question 15.: Do you have any Wealth?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY WEALTH TAX!

Question 16 : To reduce Tension, for entertainment, where are you going?
Ans. : Cinema or Resort.
Tax : PAY ENTERTAINMENT TAX!

Question 17 : Have you purchased House?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY STAMP DUTY & REGISTRATION FEE !

Question 18 : How you Travel?
Ans. : Bus
Tax : PAY SURCHARGE!

Question 19.: Any Additional Tax?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY EDUCATIONAL, ADDITIONAL EDUCATIONAL & SURCHARGE ON ALL THE CENTRAL GOVT.'s TAX !!!

Question 20: Delayed any time Paying Any Tax?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY INTEREST & PENALTY!

INDIAN : Can I die now?? Shocked
Ans :: Wait we are about to launch the funeral tax !!!
Tax Structure in India....... Funny But True

Did you know

2011-05-04T01:01:00.001-07:00

A sealed envelope - Put in the freezer for a few hours, then slide a knife under the flap.
The envelope can then be resealed.
(hmmmmmm...)

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Use Empty toilet paper roll to store appliance cords.
It keeps them neat and you can write on the roll what appliance it belongs to..

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For icy door steps in freezing temperatures:
Get warm water and put Dawn dish washing liquid in it.
Pour it all over the steps.
They won't refreeze.

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To remove old wax from a glass candle holder, put it in the freezer for a few hours.
Then take the candle holder out and turn it upside down. The wax will fall out.

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Crayon marks on walls? This worked wonderfully! A damp rag, dipped in baking soda.
Comes off with little effort (elbow grease that is!).

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Permanent marker on appliances/counter tops (like store receipt BLUE!) rubbing alcohol on paper towel.

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Whenever I purchase a box of S.O.S Pads , I immediately take a pair of scissors and cut each pad into halves.
After years of having to throw away rusted and unused and smelly pads, I finally decided that this would be much more economical.
Now a box of S.O.S pads last me indefinitely!
In fact, I have noticed that the scissors get 'sharpened'' this way!

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Blood stains on clothes? Not to worry! Just pour a little hydrogen peroxide on a cloth and proceed to wipe off every drop of blood.
Works every time! (Now, where to put the body?) LOL

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Use vertical strokes when washing windows outside and horizontal for inside windows.
This way you can tell which side has the streaks.
Straight vinegar will get outside windows really clean.
Don't wash windows on a sunny day.
They will dry too quickly and will probably streak.

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Spray a bit of perfume on the light bulb in any room to create a lovely light scent in each room when the light is turned on.

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Place fabric softener sheets in dresser drawers and your clothes will smell freshly washed for weeks to come.
You can also do this with towels and linen.

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Candles will last a lot longer if placed in the freezer for at least 3 hours prior to burning. .

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To clean artificial flowers, pour some salt into a paper bag and add the flowers.
Shake vigorously as the salt will absorb all the dust and dirt and leave your artificial flowers looking like new! Works like a charm!

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To easily remove burnt on food from your skillet , simply add a drop or two of dish soap and enough water to cover bottom of pan, and bring to a boil on stove top.

Thoughts of Love

2011-05-04T01:00:00.002-07:00

Love Don't Ask " Who Are You?"

Love Only Says " You Are Mine !"

" People need love the most when they deserve it the least."

Love Don't Ask " Where Are You From?"

Love Only Says " You Lives In My Heart !"

" When you wake up in the morning, kiss your loved one on the forehead and wish them a goodday."

Love Don't Ask " what Do You Do?"

Love Only Says " You Make My Heart To Beat !"

" Love from one side hurts, but love from two sides heals."

Love Don't Ask " Why Are You Faraway?"

Love Only Says " You Are Always With Me !"

"I would give up everything for one moment with you;
For one moment is better than a life time of never knowing you."

Love Don't Ask " Do You Love Me?"

Love Only Says ...

I LOVE U

Girls Are Always Incomplete Without Boys.

2011-05-04T01:00:00.000-07:00

WOMAN has MAN in it .

SHE has HE in it.

Mrs. has Mr. in it.

LADY has LAD in it.

MISTERESS has MISTER in it.

MADAM has ADAM in it.

HOSTESS has HOST in it.

FEMALE has MALE in it

......and so on the list is never ending

SO NO need to be proud ....Girls

YOU are always incomplete without Boys

Strength of a Man

2011-05-04T00:59:00.001-07:00

The strength of a man isn't seen in the width of his shoulders.
It is seen in the width of his arms that encircle you.
The strength of a man isn't in the deep tone of his voice.
It is in the gentle words he whispers.
The strength of a man isn't how many buddies he has.
It is how good a buddy he is with his kids.
The strength of a man isn't in how respected he is at work.
It is in how respected he is at home.
The strength of a man isn't in how hard he hits..
It is in how tender he touches.
The strength of a man isn't how many women he's Loved by.
It is in can he be true to one woman.
The strength of a man isn't in the weight he can lift.
It is in the burdens he can understand and overcome.

Lucky is the man who is the first love of a woman,
but luckier is the woman who is the last love of a man

Beauty of a WomanWoman

2011-05-04T00:58:00.001-07:00

The beauty of a woman
Is not in the clothes she wears,
The figure she carries,
Or the way she combs her hair.
The beauty of a woman
Must be seen from her eyes,
Because that is the doorway to her heart,
The place where love resides.
The beauty of a woman
Is not in a facial mole,
But true beauty in a woman
Is reflected in her soul.
It is the caring that she lovingly gives,
The passion that she shows,
The beauty of a woman
With passing years-only grows.

Lucky is the man who is the first love of a woman,
but luckier is the woman who is the last love of a man

how do you describe a male organ in your country

2011-05-01T01:03:00.002-07:00

MISS WORLD Questions

Question: Ms America, how do you describe a male organ in your country?
Ms America: Well, I can say that male organs in America are like gentlemen.
Question: How can you say so?
Ms America: Because it stands every time it sees a woman....... ......... ......... .
(Applause! Applause!)

Question: Ms Spain, how do you describe a male organ in your country?
Ms Spain: Male organs in our country are like our very own Bullfight or Toro (Bull)
Question: How can you say so?
Ms Spain: Because it charges every time it sees an opening....
(Applause! Applause!)

Question: Ms Philippines, how do you describe a male organ in your country?
Ms Philippines: Well, I can say that male organs in our country are like gossip or rumors.
Question: How can you say so?
Ms Philippines: Because it passes from mouth to mouth.......
(Applause! Applause! Standing Ovation! Applause! Applause!)

Question: Ms Iran, how do you describe a male organ in your country?
Ms Iran: Well, I can say that male organs in Iran are like thieves.
Question: How can you say so?
Ms Iran: Because they like to enter through the back door.....
(Applause! Applause! Laughter! Laughter! Applause! Applause!)

Question: Ms India, how do you describe a male organ in your country?
Ms India: Well, I can say the male organs in India are like laborers.
Question: How can you say so?
Ms India: Because it works day and night......
(Applause! Applause! Applause!

Question: Ms Malaysia, how do you describe a male organ in your country?
Ms Malaysia: Well, I can say that Male Organs in Malaysia are like Proton car.
Question: How can you say so?
Ms Malaysia: Look tough but actually very soft........ ......... ......... ..
(Applause! Applause! Laughter! Laughter! Applause! )

Question: Ms Singapore,how do you describe a male organ in your country?
Ms Singapore: Well, I can say that male organ in Singapore is very Kiasu (Afraid to lose).
Question: How can you say so?
Ms Singapore: It always wants to rush in quick and leave 15 minutes before the show is over
(Applause! Applause! Applause! Applause! Applause!)

Girls' Meaning and Guy's Meaning

2011-05-01T01:03:00.000-07:00

Girls' English

Yes = No

No = Yes

May-b = No

"It's your decision" = The correct decision should be obvious by now!

" Do what u want" = You'll pay 4 this later!

We need to talk" = I need to bitch.

"Sure......Go ahead" = I don't want you too.

" I'm not upset" = Of course I'm upset, u stupid moron!

" How much do u love me?" = I did something today your not goin' like me 4.

"I love you"=I'm going to love you FOREVER!! !

"Is my butt fat?" = Tell me i'm beautiful.

" You have to learn to communicate! " = Just agree with me.

" Are you listening to me?" = Too late, you're dead!

Guy's English

" I'm hungry" = I'm hungry

" I'm sleepy" = I'm sleepy

" I'm tired " - I'm tired

" Do you want to go to a movie?" = I'd eventaully like to have sex with you.

" Can I take you to dinner?" = I'd eventaully like to have sex with you.

" Can I call you sometime?" = I'd eventaully like to have sex with you.

" May I have this dance?" = I'd eventaully like to have sex with you.

"Nice dress" = Nice cleavage.

" You look tensed, let me give you a massage" = I want to fondle you.

" What's wrong? " = What meaningless self inflicted psychological trauma are you going th rough now?

" What's wrong?" = I guess sex tonight is out of the question.

"I'm bored" = Do you want to have sex?

" I love you" = Let's have sex right now.

" I love you too" = Okay i said it we'd better have sex now!

" Let's talk" = I am tryin' to impress you by shown that I'm a deep person and maybe then you'd like to have sex with me!

" Will you marry me?" = I want to make it illegel 4 you to have sex with other guys.

Diary Of a Young Wife

2011-05-01T01:02:00.001-07:00

Monday:
Now home from honeymoon and settled in our new home.
It's fun to cook for Tim. Today I made an angel food cake and the recipe said, "beat 12 eggs separately." Well, I didn't have enough bowls to do that, so I had to borrow 12 bowls to beat the eggs in. The cake turned out fine though.

.

Wednesday:
I decided to serve rice and found a recipe which said, "wash thoroughly before steaming the rice." So I heated some water and took a bath before steaming the rice. Sounded kinda silly in the middle of the day. I can't say it improved the rice anyhow.

Thursday:
Today Tim asked for salad again. I tried a new recipe.
It said, prepare ingredients, then toss on a bed of lettuce one hour before serving." I hunted all over the place for a garden and when I got one, I tossed my salad into the bed of lettuce and stood over there for over one hour so the dog would not take it. Tim came over and asked if I felt all right.I wonder why? He must be stressed at work, I'll try to be supportive.

Friday:
Today I found an easy recipe for cookies. It said, "put all ingredients in a bowl and beat it." Beat it I did,to my mum's place. There must have been something wrong with the recipe, because when I came back home again, it looked the same as when I left it.

Saturday:
Tim went shopping today and brought home a chicken. He asked me to dress it for Sunday. I'm sure I don't know how hens dress for Sunday. I never noticed back on the farm, but I found an old doll dress and it's little cute shoes. I thought the hen looked really cute. When Tim saw it, he started counting to ten. Either he was really stressed because of his work, or he wanted the chicken to dance.

When I asked him what was wrong he started crying and shouting out "why me? Why me ?"

Hmmm....It must be his job.

Mehndi Design Beutiful Heena

2011-05-01T01:01:00.001-07:00

Reason To Love A Women

2011-05-01T01:00:00.001-07:00

Wisdom Quotes For Happy Living

2011-05-01T00:59:00.001-07:00

Wheresoever you go, go with all your heart.
Better to be a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without.
Knowing is not as good as loving; loving is not as good as enjoying.
To see the right and not to do it is cowardice.
Faced with what is right, to leave it undone shows a lack of courage.
Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life.
Heaven means to be one with God.
If you look into your own heart, and you find nothing wrong there, what is there to worry about? What is there to fear?
Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated.
Real knowledge is to know the extent of one's ignorance.

Let love last

2011-05-01T00:52:00.003-07:00

Feng Shui has the potential to transform unhappy lives into happy ones by creating harmony in relationships. These relationships may be those you enjoy with your immediate family - your spouse, parents, children or siblings - or with close friends, colleagues and acquaintances. CURES:

Place a pair of mandarin ducks for a great love life.
Never have a large mirror directly facing or reflecting the bed.
Having a television in the bedroom is not encouraged.
Do not sleep with a large overhead beam cutting the bed into two.
Do not have a toilet above you, as negative Ch'i shoots down causing problem for young couples.
Do not sleep on a double bed with two single mattresses.
Check your personal romance direction based on your Kua number and arrange your sleeping position in the suitable direction.
Hang a small crystal chandelier in the southwest part of your bedroom and keep the light on for three to four hours every evening.
Keep a minimum of two pillows on your bed and try to keep things in your bedroom in pairs.
Play soft, calm and soothing music in your house. This will cleanse and clear negativity whilepromoting peace and harmony.
Never sleep on a round and unstable bed.
Sleeping between two doors makes you quarrel a lot with your spouse and sleeping between two pillars makes you irritable and stressed.

Henna during pregnancy

2011-05-01T00:52:00.001-07:00

Henna during pregnancy is an ancient practice and is soothing as well as calming. It is believed to help bring about an easy birth and healthy child.

Lawsonia Inermis or henna is a small bush that produces a red dye that has been used cosmetically and medicinally for over 9,000 years.

Many countries including Morocco and India have traditions of applying henna during the third trimester of pregnancy. Henna is believed to protect and bless the mother and child from any evil or malicious spirits that may be near during delivery.

The red coloring of the dye and protective images used in the patterns guard against the evil eye and are thought to protect the pair during the child's difficult passage into this world. Special attention is given to the hands and especially the feet as they are considered to be vulnerable connections to the world.

As henna is being infcorporated into modern culture, new traditions are being created. One new way women are using henna is to decorate the belly during pregnancy. This is a wonderful way to celebrate the body's physical changes during pregnancy and embrace this special time. Baby showers and henna parties can be combined into a day of pampering and relaxation for the new expectant mom, her friends, and family.

murphys law of girls

2011-04-28T00:45:00.000-07:00

1. If u think a girl is beautiful, she'll always have a boyfriend to confirm that

2. the nicer she is...the quicker u will be dumped!!!!!

3. The more the makeup, worse the looks...

4. "99% of the girls in this world are beautiful. Remaining 1% would always be in your company."............ .....100% true

5. The guy standing next to a beautiful girl can never be her brother.

6. If by any chance the girl you like , likes you too, she will let you know in about 10 years from now ,when you are committed..

7. The more you ignore a girl, the more she'll want to be friends with you.

8. Theory of relativity.. ....

The more u run towards a hot chick....the more she goes away from u...

9. Rule 1: Even if you got her out alone... just when you are about to let her know about your feelings...she will spot a long lost friend( I guess from Kumbh ka Mela)

Corollary to rule 1: The more desperate you are to tell your feelings to a girl on a private chat, the more probability the long lost friend she discovered is a handsome superman, who beats you in everything 9:1

Axiom 1: The more dedicated you are to the girl, the longer it takes before things work out, but ultimately it will (somesmile for the guys)

10. the day the chick you really like comes and speaks to you will be the day when-

You are dressed badly
You forgot to brush your teeth for the first time in your life
Have a bad hair day

11. all the good girls are either nuns or married .the rest go around with u and ruin ur money,health and leave u a total wreck.

12. the more seriously u like a girl...the more seriously her dad will hate u
13. the love you shower a girl with is directly proportional to the number of bullets her dad will be showering at you..

Sleepless Nights

2011-04-28T00:44:00.002-07:00

if you have sleepless nights ......

If someone breaks the silence of a dark lonely night

If someone sings new melodies in your ear every evening..

Then its nothing other than!!!!

Mosquitos..... hee haa..

Different Stages of Love

2011-04-28T00:44:00.000-07:00

Shades of Love

"Love in the heart was not meant there to stay. Love is not love till you give it away". For love to be ever lasting and eternal every one should be aware of the different stages of love and know its significance. Following are the different phases through which you will travel in your love life and only those who pass it will have an endless love.

ATTRACTION
Attraction can be defined as something, which is more than friendship and is a step towards getting ready for a relationship. Now attraction is of two types:

Physical Attraction - happens when your body reacts to another person. Heart rate increases; temperature rises, palms get sweaty; stomach flutters; throat tightens; etc. This is what will tell you that you are ready for the first contact and also whether you are comfortable in the company of the other person.

Emotional Attraction - develops next if the circumstances are right. After being drawn to a person physically, you then begin to come closer. If you find you have things in common -- hobbies, ideologies, career, education, or some other common ground -- then an emotional attraction starts to form. Sometimes an emotional attraction can occur even when a physical attraction does not. And in this case, the bond will be stronger between the two who connect, since no preconceived notions based on physical appearance has occurred.

INTIMACY

Intimacy is something, which a person experiences when you learn to trust and believe your lover. It is a close association with another person of the deepest nature. You share you thoughts, feelings, and dreams. You feel free to discuss everything with this person and you are absolutely comfortable in his company. Thus intimacy develops gradually. If you can't establish intimacy with your partner, your relationship may work for a while, but is unlikely to endure throughout the years. Intimacy is actually the path to a true, healthy and beautiful relationship.

ROMANCE

Romance is the essence of a relationship. Without romance your love life will not exist. Romance is the true identity of your love. It brings out your true self and helps you be a better lover, husband and partner. Romance is a celebration of the life you live as part of a couple. It springs naturally and originates from within your heart. It makes you do things that you possibly couldn't have imagined to do otherwise. It shows you who you are and reminds you of the role you play in a relationship. Romance is not responsibility but it is caring about your responsibilities towards your lover and partner. Romance is the appreciation of two people who are celebrating the lucky coincidence that they found each other.

PASSION

The third stage is passion, which basically means a desire for another person, which has grown to an intensity that can't be ignored. This is often where an emotional relationship turns into a physical relationship. The passion stage is very important. For from here you will understand the true meaning and nature of your relationship. If there is no passion then its best to let go but if there is passion in your relationship then it is time to go on to the next stage.

COMMITMENT

The last stage is commitment. This is when you know that you want to spend your whole life with this person you love and you can do anything for him. It is when your whole world just revolves round your lover and you take a pledge to remain true to your mate throughout good and bad times, be by his side whenever he needs you.

The Gender of A Computer

2011-04-28T00:43:00.002-07:00

A Spanish teacher was explaining to her Adult Night School group that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine. 'House' for instance, is feminine: 'la casa.'

'Pencil,' however, is masculine: 'el lapiz.'

A student asked, 'What gender is 'computer'?'

Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups,male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether 'computer' should be a masculine or a feminine noun.

Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation.

The male group decided that 'computer' should definitely be of the feminine gender ('la computadora'), because:

1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic;

2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else;

3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval; and

4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your salary on accessories for it.

(THIS GETS BETTER!)

The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be Masculine ('el computador') , because:

1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on;

2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves;

3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem; and

4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model.

The women won ;-)

Six Answers while Boys / Girl Proposed

2011-04-28T00:43:00.000-07:00

Six answers given by a GIRL when she is proposed¿¿¿.

Nahi
Mujhe waqt chahiye
I have always seen u as a friend
I already have a boy friend
We should concentrate on studies
Tum abhi tak mujhe jante kahan ho? Yeh infatuation hai.

Six answers given by a BOY when he is proposed¿¿ ¿..

dis proves that guys r better humans than girls and they believe more in spreading love

(Life facts)Balance sheets of Life!!!

2011-04-28T00:41:00.003-07:00

Our Birth is our Opening Balance
Our Death is our Closing Balance
Our Prejudiced Views are our Liabilities
Our Creative Ideas are our Assets
Heart is our Current Asset
Soul is our Fixed Asset
Brain is our Fixed Deposit
Thinking is our Current Account
Achievements are our Capital
Character & Morals, our Stock-in-Trade
Friends are our General Reserves
Values & Behavior are our Goodwill
Patience is our Interest Earned
Love is our Dividend
Children are our Bonus Issues
Education is Brands / Patents
Knowledge is our Investment
Experience is our Premium Account
The Aim is to Tally the Balance Sheet Accurately.
The Goal is to get the Best Presented Accounts Award
__._,_.___

What's Love?

2011-04-28T00:41:00.001-07:00

What's Love?

When you are together with that special someone, you pretend to ignore
that person. But when that special someone is not around, you might look around to find them.

At that moment, you are in Love.

Although there is someone else who always makes you laugh,
your eyes and attention might go only to that special someone.

Then, you are in love.

Although that special someone was supposed to have called you long back, to let you know of their safe arrival, your phone is quiet.
You are desperately waiting for the call!

At that moment, you are in love.

If you are much more excited for one short e-mail from that special someone than other many long e-mails,

you are in love.

When you find yourself as one who cannot erase all the emails or SMS messages in your phone because of one message from that special someone,

you are in love.

When you get a couple of free movie tickets, you would not hesitate to think of that special someone.

Then, you are in love.

You keep telling yourself, "that special someone is just a friend",but you realize that you can not avoid that person's special attraction.

At that moment, you are in love.

While you are reading this mail, if someone appears in your mind,

then u are in love with that person...;))

We are like this only So true , so very true .........

2011-04-28T00:40:00.002-07:00

Everything you eat is savored in garlic, onion and tomatoes.
You try and reuse gift wrappers, gift boxes, and of course aluminum foil.
You are Always standing next to the two largest size suitcases at the Airport.
You arrive one or two hours late to a party - and think it's normal.
You peel the stamps off letters that the Postal Service missed to stamp.
You recycle Wedding Gifts , Birthday Gifts and Anniversary Gifts.
You name your children in rhythms (example, Sita & Gita, Ram & Shyam, Kamini & Shamini.)
All your children have pet names, which sound nowhere close to their real names.
You take Indian snacks anywhere it says "No Food Allowed"
You talk for an hour at the front door when leaving someone's house.
You load up the family car with as many people as possible.
You use plastic to cover anything new in your house whether it's the remote control, VCR, carpet or new couch.
Your parents tell you not to care what your friends think, but they won't let you do certain things because of what the other "Uncles and Aunties" will think.
You buy and display crockery, which is never used , as it is for special occasions, which never happen.
You have a vinyl tablecloth on your kitchen table.
You use grocery bags to hold garbage.
You keep leftover food in your fridge in as many numbers of bowls as possible.
Your kitchen shelf is full of jars, varieties of bowls and plastic utensils (got free with purchase of other stuff )
You carry a stash of your own food whenever you travel (and travel means any car ride longer than 15 minutes).
You own a rice cooker or a pressure cooker.
You fight over who pays the dinner bill.
You live with your parents and you are 40 years old. ( And they prefer it that way).
You don't use measuring cups when cooking.
You never learnt how to stand in a queue.
You can only travel if there are 5 persons at least to see you off or receive you whether you are traveling by bus, train or plane.
If she is NOT your daughter, you always take interest in knowing whose daughter has run with whose son and feel proud to spread it at the velocity of more than the speed of light.
You only make long distance calls after 11 p.m.
If you don't live at home, when your parents call, they ask if you've eaten, even if it's midnight.
You call an older person you never met before Uncle or Aunty."
When your parents meet strangers and talk for a few minutes, you discover you're talking to a distant cousin.
Your parents don't realize phone connections to foreign countries have improved in the last two decades, and still scream at the top of their lungs when making foreign calls.
You have bed sheets on your sofas so as to keep them from getting dirty.
It's embarrassing if your wedding has less than 600 people.
All your Tupperware is stained with food color.
You have drinking glasses made of steel.
You have mastered the art of bargaining in shopping.
You have really enjoyed reading this post - forward it to as many Indians as possible

10 RULES TO STAY YOUNG

2011-04-28T00:40:00.000-07:00

Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let That is why you pay "them!"
Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.
Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain idle. "An idle mind is the devil's workshop" . And the devil's name is Alzheimer's.
Enjoy the simple things.
Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.
The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person, who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.
Surround yourself with what you love, whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.
Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help. 9 Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county;
to a foreign country but NOT to where the guilt is.
Tell the people that you love them, at every opportunity.

AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take ourbreath away.

IAS presence of mind

2011-04-28T00:39:00.001-07:00

Subject: Now that's what i call Presence of Mind!!
Not only our technical knowledge helps, but also the presence of mind and the right answer at right time. Even if u don't know the answer for a question just confuse the questioner!! !!

Questions and the Answers given by Candidates, oh sorry
they are IAS Officers now.

1Q. How can you drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it?
A. Concrete floors are very hard to crack! (UPSC Topper)

2Q. If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would it take four men to build it?
A. No time at all it is already built. (UPSC 23 Rank Opted for IFS)

3Q. If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four apples and three oranges in the other hand, what would you have?
A. Very large hands. (Good one) (UPSC 11 Rank Opted for IPS)

4Q. How can you lift an elephant with one hand?
A. It is not a problem, since you will never find an elephant with one hand. (UPSC Rank 14 Opted for IES)

5Q. How can a man go eight days without sleep?
A. No Problem, He sleeps at night. (UPSC IAS Rank 98)

6Q. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become?
A. It will Wet or Sink as simple as that. (UPSC IAS Rank 2)

7Q. What looks like half apple?
A: The other half. (UPSC - IAS Topper)

8Q. What can you never eat for breakfast?
A: Dinner.

9Q. What happened when wheel was invented?
A: It caused a revolution.

10Q. Bay of Bengal is in which state?
A: Liquid (UPSC 33Rank)

11. Interviewer said "I shall either ask you ten easy questions or one really difficult question.
Think well before you make up your mind!" The boy thought for a while and said, "My choice is one really difficult question."
"Well, good luck to you, you have made your own choice! Now tell me this. "What comes first, Day or Night?"
The boy was jolted into reality as his admission depends on the correctness of his answer,
but he thought for a while and said, "It's the DAY sir!"
"How" the interviewer asked,
"Sorry sir, you promised me that you will not ask me a SECOND difficult question!"

Men are like. Bananas... The older they get, the less firm they are

2011-04-25T01:48:00.000-07:00

Men are like Laxatives... They irritate the crap out of you.
Men are like. Bananas... The older they get, the less firm they are.
Men are like Weather... Nothing can be done to change them.
Men are like Blenders...You need One, but you're not quite sure why.
Men are like Chocolate Bars... Sweet, smooth, & they usually head right for your hips.
Men are like Commercials... You can't believe a word they say.
Men are like Department Stores... Their clothes are always 1/2 off!
Men are like. Government Bonds... They take soooooooo long to mature.
Men are like. Mascara. They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
Men are like Popcorn. They satisfy you, but only for a little while.
Men are like Snowstorms. You never know when they're coming, how many inches you'll get or how long it will last.
Men are like Lava Lamps. Fun to look at, but not very bright.
Men are like Parking Spots All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped.

Loving Sister

2011-04-25T01:47:00.001-07:00

Having a sister is like having a best friend you can't get rid of.

You know whatever you do, they'll still be there.

A sister is a little bit of childhood that can never be lost

Is solace anywhere more comforting than in the arms of a sister.

If you don't understand how a woman

could both love her sister dearly and

want to wring her neck at the same time,

then you were probably an only child.

Children of the same family, the same blood,

with the same first associations and habits,

have some means of enjoyment in their power,

which no subsequent connections can supply...

Sisters is probably the most competitive relationship

within the family, but once the sisters are grown,

it becomes the strongest relationship.

I Said I Love U....

2011-04-25T01:46:00.002-07:00

When U Were Only 5 Yrs Old, I Said I Love U....
U Asked Me: "What Is It?"

When U Were 15 Yrs Old, I Said I Love U...
U Blushed.. U Look Down And Smile..

When U Were 20 Yrs Old, I Said I Love U...
U Put Ur Head On My Shoulder And Hold My Hand... Afraid That I Might Dissapear...

When U Were 25 Yrs Old, I Said I Love U...
U Prepare Breakfast And Serve It In Front Of Me, And Kiss My Forhead N Said : "U Better Be Quick, Is's Gonna Be Late..."

When U Were 30 Yrs Old, I Said I Love U...
U Said: "If U Really Love Me, Please Come Back Early After Work.."

When U Were 40 Yrs Old, I Said I Love U....
U Were Cleaning The Dining Table And Said: "Ok Dear, But It's Time For U To Help Our Child With His/Her Revision.."

When U Were 50 Yrs Old, I Said I Love U..
U Were Knitting And U Laugh At Me...

When U Were 60 Yrs Old, I Said I Love U...
U Smile At Me..

When U Were 70 Yrs Old. I Said I Love U...
We Sitting On The Rocking Chair With Our Glasses On.. I'M Reading Your Love Letter That U Sent To Me 50 Yrs Ago..With Our Hand Crossing Together..

When U Were 80 Yrs Old, U Said U Love Me!
I Didn't Say Anything But Cried...

That Day Must Be The Happiest Day Of My Life!
Because U Said U Love Me !!!

Please Appreciate Your Loved Ones.. Say "I Love You"
To Them When U Have The Chance Now !!!

Leave Applications

2011-04-25T01:46:00.000-07:00

Infosys, Bangalore :

An employee applied for leave as follows:

"Since I have to go to my village to sell my land along with my wife, please sanction me one-week leave.."

* * *

This is from Oracle Bangalore:

From an employee who was performing the "mundan" ceremony of his 10 year old son:

"As I want to shave my son's head, please leave me for two days.."

* * *

Another gem from CDAC. Leave-letter from an employee who was performing his daughter's wedding:
"As I am marrying my daughter, please grant a week's leave.."

* * *

From H..A.L. Administration Dept:
"As my mother-in-law has expired and I am only one responsible for it, please grant me 10 days leave."

* * *

Another employee applied for half day leave as follows:
"Since I've to go to the cremation ground at 10 o-clock and I may not return, please grant me half day casual leave"

* * *

An incident of a leave letter:
"I am suffering from fever, please declare one-day holiday."

* * *

A leave letter to the headmaster:
"As I am studying in this school I am suffering from headache. I request you to leave me today"

* * *

Another leave letter written to the headmaster:
"As my headache is paining, please grant me leave for the day."

* * *

Actual letter written for application of leave:
"My wife is suffering from sickness and as I am her only husband at home I may be granted leave".

* * *

A sub-editor from a north India's leading English newspaper writes:

"I have domestic work, please grant me leave.

* * *

A candidate's job application:
"This has reference to your advertisement calling for a ' Typist and an Accountant - Male or Female'.... As I am both(!! )for the past several years and I can handle both with good experience, I am applying for the post.

Why women cry ? A Woman's Tear

2011-04-25T01:44:00.000-07:00

A little boy asked his mother, "Why are you crying?" "Because I'm a woman," she told him.
"I don't understand," he said. His Mom just hugged him and said, "And you never will."
Later the little boy asked his father, "Why does mother seem to cry for no reason?"
"All women cry for no reason," was all his dad could say.
The little boy grew up and became a man, still wondering why women cry.
Finally he put in a call to God. When God got on the phone, he asked, "God, why do women cry so easily?"
God said: "When I made the woman she had to be special.
I made her shoulders strong enough to carry the weight of the world, yet gentle enough to give comfort.
I gave her an inner strength to endure childbirth and the rejection that many times comes from her children.
I gave her a hardness that allows her to keep going when everyone else gives up, and take care of her family through sickness and fatigue without complaining.
I gave her the sensitivity to love her children under any and all circumstances, even when her child has hurt her very badly.
I gave her strength to carry her husband through his faults and I gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never hurts his wife, but sometimes tests her strengths and her resolve to stand beside him unfalteringly.
And finally, I gave her a tear to shed. This is hers exclusively to use whenever it is needed."
"You see my son," said God, "the beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman must be seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart - the place where love resides."

(Very Funny)Husband to Wife

2011-04-25T01:42:00.001-07:00

I wrote your name on sand it got washed.
I wrote your name in air, it was blown away.
Then I wrote your name on my heart & I got Heart Attack.

God saw me hungry, he created pizza.
He saw me thirsty, he created Pepsi.
He saw me in dark, he created light.
He saw me without problems, he created YOU.

Twinkle Twinkle little star
You should know what you are
And once you know what you are
Mental hospital is not so far.

The rain makes all things beautiful.
The grass and flowers too.
If rain makes all things beautiful
Why doesn't it rain on you?

Roses are red, Violets are blue
Monkeys like u should be kept in zoo.
Don't feel so angry you will find me there too
Not in cage but laughing at you.

When your life is in darkness pray to God ask him to free u from
Darkness and if after you pray and you are still in darkness, please
Pay your ELECTRICITY BILL

(Nice Moral)A Tiny Frog's Story

2011-04-25T01:41:00.003-07:00

Once upon a time there was a bunch of tiny frogs.... who arranged a running competition.
The goal was to reach the top of a very high tower.
A big crowd had gathered around the tower to see the race and cheer on the contestants. ...

The race began....

Honestly:

No one in crowd really believed that the tiny frogs would reach the top of the tower.

You heard statements such as:

"Oh, WAY too difficult!!"

"They will NEVER make it to the top."

or: "Not a chance that they will succeed. The tower is too high!"

The tiny frogs began collapsing. One by one....

Except for those, who in a fresh tempo, were climbing higher and higher....

The crowd continued to yell, "It is too difficult!!! No one will make it!"

More tiny frogs got tired and gave up....

But ONE continued higher and higher and higher....

This one wouldn't give up!

At the end everyone else had given up climbing the tower. Except for the one tiny frog who, after a big effort, was the only one who reached the top!

THEN all of the other tiny frogs naturally wanted to know how this one frog managed to do it?

A contestant asked the tiny frog how he had found the strength to succeed and reach the goal?

It turned out....

That the winner was DEAF!!!!

The moral of this story is:

Never listen to other people's tendencies to be negative or pessimistic. ... because they take your most wonderful dreams and wishes away from you -- the ones you have in your heart!
Always think of the power words have.
Because everything you hear and read will affect your actions!

Therefore:

ALWAYS be....
POSITIVE!

And above all:

Be DEAF when people tell you that you cannot fulfill your dreams!

Always think:

God can make me do this!

Not easy to work in India: Mitta

2011-04-25T01:41:00.001-07:00

ArcelorMittal, the world's biggest steel manufacturing company, is finding India a difficult country to work in, its chief executive and chairman Lakshmi Niwas Mittal said Wednesday.

"We realise it's not easy to build greenfield projects in India," Mittal said at a press conference held to announce first quarter results for his Luxembourg-based company.

Mittal said the entire process of building a greenfield project - from land acquisition to getting mining rights and ensuring infrastructure availability - has been "pretty slow".

"We are working with governments but progress has been pretty slow for approvals," he said in a response to a query by IANS.

He said the global downturn may be slowing down demand in India and that it was "important for us to monitor the economic environment".

"We will continue to monitor the market. We don't want to exceed our capacity," he said adding the company will focus on producing primarily for the domestic market.

ArcelorMittal recently announced it was delaying its projects in Orissa and Jharkhand by two years.

The company, announcing results for the three months ended March 31, said it posted a net loss of $1.1 billion, after making a profit of $2.37 billion a year earlier. Sales of $15.1 billion were down 32 percent from the fourth quarter of 2008.

Alongside, the company announced plans to raise $3 billion from the sale of shares and bonds as part of its strategy to reduce debts.

The Mittal family will subscribe to at least 10 percent of the share offering, the company said.

We are all born naked

2011-04-23T02:58:00.000-07:00

We are all born naked
... So why am I being considered vulgar, asks Poonam Pandey

It seems that at times, she regrets not having the life of a normal 20-year-old, but the overnight transition from model to mini celebrity almost makes up for it. Seven months ago, Poonam Pandey entered the world of modelling as a teenager, but an ‘innocuous’ statement turned her into a national sensation – she promised to strip if India won the World Cup. Several interviews, threat calls, arrest warrants and Bollywood offers later, Poonam is ready to face the naysayers with a resolve to strip if the BCCI permits her to. She tells us that the BCCI rejected her offer to strip for the team, and she doesn’t want to commit any crime by doing something she hasn’t got permission for. She says, “I stand by my commitment. I am now requesting the media to ask the BCCI to give me permission.”
She explains, “I’m just clearing everyone’s doubts that they shouldn’t take my statement in a wrong way. I don’t mind the attention, and I don't regret my statement. I was happy about the team’s performance.” “Support me please?” she requests.
But while she tries to fulfil her promise, she is also preparing to compete in the reality show “Khatron Ke Khiladi”. Even though she got various offers, including Bollywood item numbers, she isn’t interested. Says Poonam, “So many offers have come, but at present, I’m only focusing on KKK. People approached me with offers for movies, item numbers, and magazine interviews, but I am not keen. Of course, my plan eventually is to work in Bollywood. Let’s see how it all works out.”
Of course, post the offer from the channel for the show, her statement is being termed a publicity stunt, but Poonam vehemently denies the allegation. She says, “I don’t know why people are thinking this is a publicity stunt. That was a statement for team India, and it’s been made into such a big issue. People do treat me differently at times but I’m okay with everything,” she states confidently.
Things may be settling down now, but her parents were not happy with her statement initially. Her businessman father and mother (who is a housewife), and her brother, who is two years older than her, were quite upset. She reveals, “In the beginning they were upset. Now they’re okay. They first asked me how I could say something like that. But then I explained it to them. I told them how this was not incorrect; don’t interpret it as being naked and vulgar. You were born naked. So, don’t take this in a cheap way. Now everything is fine between us,” she insists.
However, she did face tough times right after India won the match. Says Poonam, “So many arrest warrants were announced, and being 20 and facing so many of these problems alone was very tough. I kept thinking – this is so crazy. These people are creating such a big issue. When India won, I was the happiest female on earth. I was dancing in front of the TV. But, I was not with my parents, and was alone, and I was upset. I was locked – trapped my house, I had to be underground. Soon after, I had an unexpected kidney stone problem.”
But she changes the topic and we switched back to the topic of the reality show. Ask her what she’d do if she wins, and Poonam quips, “Come on, if I say something, people file court cases. So, it’s better to keep my mouth shut. There’s a surprise I have planned, if I win. Right now, it’s only about work and no holidays. I enjoy my work like I would enjoy a holiday.”

WHAT IT MEANS TO HAVE A North Indian GIRL as WIFE

2011-04-13T01:44:00.001-07:00

At the time of marriage, a north Indian girl has more boyfriends than her age.
Before marriage, she looks almost like a bollywood heroine and after marriage you have to go around her twice to completely hug her.
By the time she professes her undevoted love to you, you are bankrupt because of the n umber of times you had to take her out to movie theatres and restaurants. And you wait longingly for her dowry.
The only dishes she can think of to cook is paneer but ter masala, aloo sabji, aloo gobi sabji, aloo matar, aloo paneer, that after eating all those paneer and aloos you are either in the bed with chronic cholestrol or chronic gas disorder.
The only growth that you see later in your career is the rise in your monthly phone bill.
You are blinded by her love that you think that she is a blonde. Only later do you come to know that it is because of the mehandhi that she applies to cover her gray hair.
When you come home from office she is very busy watching "Kyonki saas bhi kabi bahu thi" that you either end up eating outside or cooking yourself.
You are a very "ESpecial" person to her.
She always thought that Madras is a state and covers the whole of south india until she met you.
When she says she is going to "work out" she means she is going to "! walk out"
She has greater number of relatives than the number of people you have in your home town.
The only two sentences in English that she knows are "Thank you" and "How are you"
She thinks Govinda can dance better than Michael Jackson.

Tell me girl if I'm crazy,

2011-04-13T01:43:00.002-07:00

Tell me girl if I'm crazy,
Thinking about you night and day
Tell me girl if I'm silly,
Holding onto this dream for so long
And if you've ever loved me,
Please send me your sweet litle smile
And if you've ever missed me,
Let your heart reach out for my love

Oh girl my sweet girl how I long to be with you
To hold you in my arms and promise you my love
Oh girl my sweet girl forever I want you near
To take you by the hand walk down the ilse of love

Tell me girl if I'm crazy,
Dreaming about you night and day
Tell me girl if I'm silly,
Clinging onto this hope desperately
And if you'll ever love me,
Please send me the key to your heart
And if you'll ever need me,
I promise I'll always be there

Oh girl my sweet love how could I forget your smiles?
Please fill my emptiness with your sweet and lovely smiles
Oh girl my sweet love how my dream'd ever come true?
To say "I love you" is all that I can do!

WHAT IT MEANS TO HAVE A South Indian GIRL as WIFE

2011-04-13T01:43:00.000-07:00

Her mother looks down at you because you didn't study in IIT or Madras / Anna University .
Her father starts or ends every conversation with " ... I say..."
She shudders if you use four letter words.
She has long hair, neatly oiled and braided (The Dubai based Oil Well Company will negotiate with her on a 25 year contract to extract coconutoil from her hair.)
She uses the word 'Super' as her only superlative.
Her name is another name for a Goddess or a flower.
Her first name is longer than your first name, middle name and surname combined (unless you are from Andhra)
When she mixes milk/curd and rice you are never sure whether it is for the Dog or for herself.
For weddings, she sports a mini jasmine garden on her head and wears silk saris in the Madras heat without looking too uncomfortable while you are melting in your singlet.
She thinks Kamalahazan is the sexiest man alive.
Her favourite cricketer is Krishnamachari Srikkanth.
Her favourite food is dosa though she has tried North Indian snacks like Chats (pronounced like the slang for 'conversation' )
She bursts into songs with her cousins in every movie.
She bores you by telling you which raaga each song you hear is based on.
You have to give her jewellery, though she has alread y got plenty of it ..
Her Mangal Sutra weighs more than the championship belts worn by WWF wrestlers.
She is more educated than you.
Her father thinks she is much smarter than you..

13 things about YOU

2011-04-13T01:42:00.001-07:00

Someone in this world Loves you , in some way.
A smile from you, can bring happiness to anyone, even if they don't like you.
Every night, SOMEONE thinks about you before they go to sleep.
You mean the world to someone.
Without you, someone may not be living.
You are special and unique, in your own way.
Someone that you don't know even exists, loves you.
When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good comes from it.
When you think the world has turned it's back on you, take a look, you most likely turned your back on the world.
When you think you have no chance at getting what you want, you probably won't get it, but if you believe in yourself, you probably sooner or later will get it.
Always remember complements you received, forget about the rude remarks.
Always tell someone how you feel about them, you will feel much better when they know.
If you have a great friend, take the time to let them know that they are great. If you choose, send this letter to as many people as you care about, you'll brighten up someone's day, and might change their perspective on life, for the better!

15 PIECES OF ADVICE TO BE PASSED ON TO YOUR MUM,

2011-04-13T01:41:00.003-07:00

Don't imagine you can change a man - unless he's in diapers diapers (nappies).
What do you do if your boyfriend walks out? You shut the door.
If they put a man on the moon - they should be able to put them all up there.
Never let your man's mind wander - it's too little to be out alone.
Go for the younger man. You might as well, they never mature anyway.
Men are all the same - they just have different faces, so that you can tell them apart.
Definition of a bachelor: a man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable.
Women don't make fools of men - most of them are the do-it-yourself types.
Best way to get a man to do something is to suggest he is too old for it.
Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.
If you want a committed man, look in a mental hospital.
The children of Israel wandered around the desert for 40 years. Even in Biblical times, men wouldn't ask for directions.
If he asks what sort of books you're interested in, tell him cheque books.
Remember a sense of humour does not mean that you tell him jokes, it means that you laugh at his.
Sadly, all men are created equal.

Why wedding ring should put on the fourth finger??

2011-04-13T01:41:00.001-07:00

Thumb represents parents

Second finger represents brothers & sisters

Center finger represents own self

Fourth finger represents your partner

Last finger represents your children

Really interesting

Why wedding ring should put on the fourth finger??
Pls follow the below step, really god made this a miracle (this is from a Chinese excerpt)

Firstly, show your palm, center finger bend and put together back to back Secondly, the rest 4 fingers tips to tips

Game begins....follow the below arrangement,

5 finger but only 1 pair can split.

Try to open your thumb, the thumb represents parents, it can be open because all human does go thru sick and dead. Which are our parents will leave us one day.

Please close up your thumb, then open your second finger, the finger represent brothers and sisters, they do have their own family which is too they will leave us too.

Now close up your second finger, open up your little finger, this represent your children. Sooner or later they too will leave us for they got they own living to live.

Nevertheless, close up your little finger, try to open your fourth finger which we put our wedding ring; you will be surprise to find that it cannot be open at all. Because it represent husband and wife, this whole life you will be attach to each other.

Real love will stick together ever and forever. . .

Am I pretty enough now

2011-04-09T02:35:00.000-07:00

Am I pretty enough now . . Spend Some time to read, Even though if you r busy.

Girl: I have to tell you something..

Boy: What?

Girl: I really like you. And I.. I think I'm falling in love with you.

Boy: Ok..

Girl: What do you mean "ok"?

Boy: I don't like you like that..

Girl: Why not?

Boy: I can't tell you.. maybe another time..

From then on, the girl kept asking the boy "Why not?" whenever she saw him, and he kept answering the same answer of "I'll tell you later." Finally the girl got fed up.

Girl: I'm tired of this! Tell me why you don't like me!
Boy: Do you really wanna know why?
Girl: Yes!
Boy: It's because you're ugly! What's the point of going out with someone when they're not pretty?!
Girl: But.. I..
Boy: Just shut up and leave me alone!

The boy leaves and the girl is sitting there alone, crying her heart out.
Then her cell phone rings.

Girl: Hello?

Mom: Sweetheart? I want you to go home, ok? I'll be home from work in a few hours.

Girl: Alright Mom.

Mom: I love you.

Girl: I love you too, Mom.

Mom: Bye Bye.

Girl: Bye

The girl heads home and once she got there, she went in the bathroom and looked at herself in the mirror.

Girl: I'm not pretty enough..

She set to work, knowing fully well what she was going to do. 2 hours later, her Mom came home and heard the bath water running.

She went upstairs to find the hallway flooded so she knocked on the door.

Mom: Honey? Are you alright?

She opened the door and was shocked at the site. The bath was overflowing onto the floor, and the water was tinted red.
She walked over to see what was inside and screamed.

There, her little girl was lying with cuts all over her face and wrists.

Her Mom backed away and was going to run to call the police when something caught her eye.
On the mirror, am I pretty enough now?

No one deserves to be told that by someone they love. If you find it messed up then forward this to everyone you know.

A person's appearance doesn't count. What counts is their heart inside of them and their personality. No one wants to be told they're not good enough . . .

Men spend almost a year of their lives ogling women.

2011-04-09T01:50:00.000-07:00

Men spend almost a year of their lives ogling women.

The averageman will spend almost 43 minutes a day staring at 10 different women.
That adds up to 259 hours almost 11 days each year, making a total 11 months and 11 days between the ages of 18 and 50.
But researchers found that the males of the species are not the only ones admiring the opposite sex as women sneak a peek at six men for just over 20 minutes a day, on average.
That adds up to almost 6 months spent admiring men from afar between the ages of 18 and 50.

The study shows that;
Top five areas men look at women:

Supermarket;
Pub/bar;
Nightclub;
Work;
Shops.

Top five areas women look at men:

Pub/bar;
Shops;
On public transport;
Supermarket;
Work.

SARDAR WITH HIS INTELLIGENCE - Sardar Jokes

2011-04-07T04:02:00.000-07:00

American told sardar : Hamare desh me 90% shaadi e-mail se hoti hai.
Sardar : Kya bath hai. Hamari desh me 100% female se hoti hai.

Where were you born ?
sardar : Punjab.
Boss : which part ?
sardar : Kya which part ? Whole body born in punjab.

Sardar : What is the name of your car ?
Lady : I forgot the name, but is starts with "T".
Sardar : Oye Kamaal ki gaadi hai, Tea se start hoti hai. Hamaara gaadi petrol se start hoti hai.

Sardar was busy removing a wheel from his auto. A man asks sardar why are you removing a wheel from your auto.
sardar : Cant you read the board. Parking is only for 2 wheeler

Interviewer : When is your birthday.
Sardar : 13th Oct.
Interviewer : which year ?
sardar : Oye Ullu ke patte : Every year.

2 sardar were fixing a bomb in a car.
Sardar 1 : What would you do if the bomb explodes while fixing.
sardar 2 : Dont worry, I have a one more.

Doctor to patient : You will die within 2 hours. Do you want to see any one before you die?
Patient : Yes. A good doctor.

On a romantic day sardar's girlfriend asks him. Darling on our engagement day will you give me a ring.
Sardar : Ya sure, from landline or mobile.

Sardar joined new job. 1st day he worked till late evening on the computer.
Boss was happy and asked what you did till evening.
Sardar : Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so I made it alright

TAKE A BREAK HAVE A LAUGH

2011-04-07T04:01:00.000-07:00

TAKE A BREAK HAVE A LAUGH

Wife: Honey..... What are You Looking for ?
Husband : Nothing.
Wife : Nothing...?? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an
hour??
Husband : I was just looking for the expiration date.

Q - What is the Difference Between Mother & Wife ?
A - One Woman Brings you into this world crying... & the other ensures you
Continue to do so.

Wife : Do you want dinner?
Husband : Sure, what are my choices?
Wife : Yes and no.

Wife: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?
Husband: When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your
picture and the problem disappears.
Wife: You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you?
Husband: Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, "What other
problem can there be greater than this one?"

*********

Girl: When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and
lighten your burden.
Boy: It's very kind of you, darling, But I don't have any worries or
troubles.
Girl: Well that's because we aren't married yet.

**********

Son: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up
my seat to a lady.
Mom: Well, you have done the right thing.
Son: But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap.

**********

A newly married man asked his wife, "Would you have married me if my father
hadn't left me a fortune?"
"Honey," the woman replied sweetly, "I'd have married you NO MATTER WHO LEFT
YOU A FORTUNE"

**********

Father to son after exam: "let me see your report card."
Son: "My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents."

Interviewer to Millionaire: To whom do you owe your success as a
millionaire? "
Millionaire: "I owe everything to my wife."
Interviewer: "Wow, she must be some woman. What were you before you married
her?"
Millionaire: " Billionaire"
**********

Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I'll be yours forever.
The guy replies: Thanks for the warning.

**********

A wife asked her husband: "What do you like most in me my pretty face or my
body?"
He looked at her from head to toe and replied: "I like your sense of humor.

What is the full form of maths.

2011-04-07T04:00:00.000-07:00

hi, just fresh ............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ....

Question:What is the full form of maths.
Anwser : Mentaly affected teachers harrasing students

____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ ___

Teacher : Now children , if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him then what virtue would I be showing ?
Student : BROTHERLY LOVE

____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ ___

Teacher :Because of Gandhiji's hard work what do we get on 15th August.
Student:A holiday

____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ ___

Teacher :Tomorrow there will be a lecture on Sun.Everyone must attend it.
Raju:No ma'm! I will not be able to attend it.
Teacher :Why?
Raju:My mother will not allow me to go so far!!!

____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ ___

Teacher:"Can anyone give me an example of Coincidence?"
Johnny:"Sir, my mother and father got married on the same day same time."

____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ ___

Teacher: How old is ur father.
Sunny:As old as I am.
Teacher:How is it possible?
Sunny:He became father only after I was born.

____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ ___

Teacher:There is a frog,Ship is sinking,potatoes cost Rs 3/kg .Then,what is my age?
STUDENT:32 yrs.
Teacher:How do you know?
STUDENT:Well, my sister is 16 yrs old and she is half mad.

____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ ___

Teacher: Where does God live?
Little boy: I think he lives in our bathroom.
Teacher: Why do you say that?
Little boy: Well, every morning my daddy bangs on the door and says, 'God, are you still in there?'

____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ ___

Teacher:"What is your name?".
Student:"Mera naam Suraj Prakash hai."
Teacher:"When I ask aquestion in English,answer it in English."
Student:"My name is Sunlight."

hi, just fresh ............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ....

Question:What is the full form of maths.
Anwser : Mentaly affected teachers harrasing students

____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ ___

Teacher : Now children , if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him then what virtue would I be showing ?
Student : BROTHERLY LOVE

____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ ___

Teacher :Because of Gandhiji's hard work what do we get on 15th August.
Student:A holiday

____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ ___

Teacher :Tomorrow there will be a lecture on Sun.Everyone must attend it.
Raju:No ma'm! I will not be able to attend it.
Teacher :Why?
Raju:My mother will not allow me to go so far!!!

____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ ___

Teacher:"Can anyone give me an example of Coincidence?"
Johnny:"Sir, my mother and father got married on the same day same time."

____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ ___

Teacher: How old is ur father.
Sunny:As old as I am.
Teacher:How is it possible?
Sunny:He became father only after I was born.

____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ ___

Teacher:There is a frog,Ship is sinking,potatoes cost Rs 3/kg .Then,what is my age?
STUDENT:32 yrs.
Teacher:How do you know?
STUDENT:Well, my sister is 16 yrs old and she is half mad.

____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ ___

Teacher: Where does God live?
Little boy: I think he lives in our bathroom.
Teacher: Why do you say that?
Little boy: Well, every morning my daddy bangs on the door and says, 'God, are you still in there?'

____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ ___

Teacher:"What is your name?".
Student:"Mera naam Suraj Prakash hai."
Teacher:"When I ask aquestion in English,answer it in English."
Student:"My name is Sunlight."

Oh ya I wanna be - your underwear

2011-04-05T03:22:00.001-07:00

I wanna be your t-shirt when it's wet - I wanna be the shower when you sweat
I gotta be the tattoo on your skin - yeah lemme be your bed baby - when you climb in
I wanna be the sheets when you sleep - let me be the secrets that you keep
I gotta be the spoon - ta stir your cream
I wanna be the one that really makes you scream

I wanna be - your lipstick when ya lick it
I wanna be - your high heels when ya kick it
I wanna be - your sweet love babe - ya when you make it
from your feet up to your hair - more than anything I swear
I wanna be - your underwear

I wanna be the itch that you scratch - wanna be the chair when you relax
I gotta be your razor when you shave
I wanna be the habit that really makes you crave

I wanna be - your hot tub - when you're dippin'
I wanna be - your bathrobe - when you're drippin'
I wanna be - your cocktail baby - when you're sippin'
I just wanna be right there - more than anything I swear
I wanna be - your underwear

I wanna be your sleeping bag - baby slip inside
Let me be your motorcycle n' take you for a ride - alright

I wanna be - your hot sauce - ya when you're cookin'
I wanna be - your sunglasses - hey good lookin'
I wanna be - wanna be the one - you're stick your hook in
I just wanna be right there - more than anything I swear
Oh ya I wanna be - your underwear

Feel proud to be an Indian

2011-04-05T03:21:00.001-07:00

Q. Who is the GM of Hewlett Packard (hp) ?
A. Rajiv Gupta

Q. Who is the creator of Pentium chip (needs no introduction as 90% of the today's computers run on it)?
A. Vinod Dahm

Q. Who is the third richest man on the world?
A. According to the latest report on Fortune Magazine, it is Azim Premji, who is the CEO of Wipro Industries.
The Sultan of Brunei is at 6 th position now.

Q. Who is the founder and creator of Hotmail (Hotmail is world's No.1 web based email program)?
A. Sabeer Bhatia

Q. Who is the president of AT & T-Bell Labs (AT & T-Bell Labs is the creator of program languages such as C, C++, Unix to name a few)?
A. Arun Netravalli

Q. Who is the new MTD (Microsoft Testing Director) of Windows 2000, responsible to iron out all initial problems?
A. Sanjay Tejwrika

Q. Who are the Chief Executives of CitiBank, Mckensey & Stanchart?
A. Victor Menezes, Rajat Gupta, and Rana Talwar.

Q. We Indians are the wealthiest among all ethnic groups in America, even faring better than the whites and the natives.
There are 3.22 millions of Indians in USA (1.5% of population). YET,
*38% of doctors in USA are Indians.
* 12% scientists in USA are Indians.
* 36% of NASA scientists are Indians.
* 34% of Microsoft employees are Indians.
* 28% of IBM employees are Indians.
* 17% of INTEL scientists are Indians.
* 13% of XEROX employees are! Indians.

Feel proud to be an Indian

2011-04-05T03:20:00.003-07:00

India never invaded any country in her last 1000 years of history.
India invented the Number system. Zero was invented by Aryabhatta.
The world's first University was established in Takshila in 700BC. More than 10,500 students from all over the world studied more than 60 subjects. The University of Nalanda built in the 4 th century BC was one of the greatest achievements of ancient India in the field of education.
According to the Forbes magazine, Sanskrit is the most suitable language for computer software.
Ayurveda is the earliest school of medicine known to humans.
Although western media portray modern images of India as poverty striken and underdeveloped through political corruption, India was once the richest empire on earth.
The art of navigation was born in the river Sindh 5000 years ago. The very word "Navigation" is derived from the Sanskrit word NAVGATIH.
The value of pi was first calculated by Budhayana, and he explained the concept of what is now k! nown as the Pythagorean Theorem. British scholars have last year (1999) officially published that Budhayan's works dates to the 6 th Century which is long before the European mathematicians.
Algebra, trigonometry and calculus came from India . Quadratic equations were by Sridharacharya in the 11 th Century; the largest numbers the Greeks and the Romans used were 106 whereas Indians used numbers as big as 10 53.
According to the Gemmological Institute of America, up until 1896, India was the only source of diamonds to the world.
USA based IEEE has proved what has been a century-old suspicion amongst academics that the pioneer of wireless communication was Professor Jagdeesh Bose and not Marconi.
The earliest reservoir and dam for irrigation was built in Saurashtra.
Chess was invented in India .
Sushruta is the father of surgery. 2600 years ago he and health scientists of his time conducted surgeries like cesareans, cataract, fractures and urinary stones. Usage of anaesthesia was well known in ancient India .
When many cultures in the world were only nomadic forest dwellers over
5000 years ago, Indians established Harappan culture in Sindhu Valley (Indus Valley Civilisation) .
The place value system, the decimal system was developed in India in 100 BC Quotes about India .

COLLECTION OF MY ENGLISH SMS

2011-04-05T03:20:00.001-07:00

1) On the path of success there always lies O's many read them as Obstacles,but very few read them as Opportunities always be one among the few.

2) An arrow can be sent only by dragging it back so when life is dragging you back with difficulties. ..It means thats its going to launch u into victory.

3) When My Arms Sometimes Can't Reach The People Close To My Heart, I Always Hug Them With My THOUGHTS! R u getting squeezed 'cos I'm thinking as hard as I
can!!

4) The golden idea of KISS is wen u type the word kiss in ur cell with dictionary mode it will automatically say where u have to kiss. Try and enjoy.

5) Do u know the full form of "Mummy"
M-maa
u -u live
m - many
m -many
y-years

6) I will walk with u when u want to, but just promise that u will hide your wings, because i dont want da whole world to know that my friend is an ANGEL..

7) When u Need Someone To Be Beside u And No One Is Around Just see The SkY,u Might Not See Me But Be Sure That We r Under The Same Sky.I'll Never Be 2Far..

8) Do ordinary 4 God,He will do extraordinary 4 U,Do natural 4 God,He will do Supernatural 4 U,Do possible 4 God,He'll do wat is impossible 4 U,Take Care, gud
mong

9) Friendship is like a bank in which u have to deposite love,sympathy, trust, help and joy as inetrest u will get companion 4 lifetime.

10) A Beautiful Life Does Not just Happen.. it is Built Daily, in Prayer, Humility, Sacrifice and Love.. May this Beautiful Life Be Yours always !

Award winning joke

2011-04-05T03:19:00.003-07:00

Two little boys, ages 8 and 10, are extremely mischievous. They are always getting into trouble and their parents know all about it. If any mischief occurs in their town, the two boys are probably involved.

The boys' mother heard that a preacher in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her boys. The preacher agreed, but he asked to see them individually.
So the mother sent the 8 year old first, in the morning, with the older boy to see the preacher in the afternoon.
The preacher, a huge man with a booming voice, sat the younger boy down and asked him sternly,
"Do you know where God is, son?"
The boy's mouth dropped open, but he made no response, sitting there wide-eyed with his mouth hanging open.
So the preacher repeated the question in an even sterner tone,

"Where is God?!"
Again, the boy made no attempt to answer.

The preacher raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the boy's face and bellowed, "Where is God?!"

The boy screamed and bolted from the room,
ran directly home and dove into his closet,
slamming the door behind him.

When his older brother found him in the closet, he asked, "what happened?"

The younger brother, gasping for breath, replied,
"We are in BIG trouble this time.
......... ....

("I just LOVE reading next line again and again")

...
GOD is missing, and they think we did it!!!!!!!!!

Real Story happened in Chennai....very intrsting

2011-04-05T03:19:00.001-07:00

Her name was Priya. She was hit by a lorry. She is working in a call centre. She has a boy friend named Shankar. Both of them are true lovers. They always hang on the phone. You can never see her without her handphone.

In fact she also changed her phone from Airtel to Hutch, so both of them can be on the same network, and save on the cost.

She spends half of the day talking with shankar. Priya's family knows about their relationship. Shankar is very close with Priya's family. (just imagine their love) . Before she passed away she always told her friends "If I pass away please burn me with my handphone" she also said the same thing to her parents.

After her death, people cant carry her body, I was there. A lot of them tried to do so but still cant , everybody including me, had tried to carry the body, the result is still the same. Eventually, they called a person who know to one of their neighbours, who can speak with the soul of dead person , who is a friend of her father. He took a stick and started speaking to himself slowly.

After a few minutes, he said "this girl misses something here". then her friends told that person about her intentions to burn her with her phone. He then opened the grave box and place her phone and SIM card inside the casket. after that they tried to carry the body. It could be moved and they carried it into the van easily. All of us were shocked.

Priya's parents did not inform Shankar that Priya had passed away. After 2 weeks Shankar called Priya's mom.

Shankar :...."Atte, I'm coming home today. Cook something nice for me.

Dont tell Priya that I'm coming home today, i wanna surprise her." Her mother replied..... "You come home first, I wanna tell you something very important." after he came, they told him the truth about Priya.

Shankar thinks that they were playing a fool. He was laughing and said "dont try to fool me - tell Priya to come out, i have a gift for her Please stop this nonsense". then they show him the original death certificate to him.

They gave him proof to make him believe. (Shankar started to sweat)

He said... "Its not true. we spoke yesterday. She still calls me.

Shankar was shaking. Suddenly, Shankar's phone rang. "see this is from Priya, see this..." he showed the phone to priya's family. all of them told him to answer.he talked using the loudspeaker mode. all of them heard his conversation.

Loud and clear, no cross lines, no humming. It is the actual voice of Priya & there is no way others could use her SIM card since it is nailed inside the grave box they were so shocked and asked for the same person's (who can speak with the soul of deal perosns) help again.

He brought his master to solve this matter. He & his master worked for 5 hours. Then they discovered one thing which really shocked them...

Hutch has the best coverage. Whereever you go, our network will follows!!!

100 Kisses...Really very clever wife!!

2011-04-05T03:18:00.001-07:00

A letter has been sent from a husband:

Dear Sweetheart:

I can't send my salary this month, so I am sending 100 kisses. You are my sweetheart, your husband.

His wife replied back after some days to her husband :
Dearest sweetheart, Thanks for your 100 kisses, I am sending the expenses details.

The Milk man agreed on 2 kisses for one month's milk.
The electricity man only agreed after 7 kisses.
Your house owner is coming every day and taking two or three kisses instead of the rent.
Supermarket owner did not accept kisses only, so I have given him some other items.
Other expenses 40 kisses

Please don't worry for me, I have a remaining balance of 35 kisses and I hope that I can complete the month using this balance.

Shall I plan same way for next months, please advise.

Your Sweet Heart .

21st Century......Great achievements

2011-04-05T03:17:00.003-07:00

Our communication - Wireless

Our dress - Topless

Our telephone - Cordless

Our cooking - Fireless

Our youth - Jobless

Our food - Fatless

Our labour - Effortless

Our conduct - Worthless

Our relation - Loveless

Our attitude - Careless

Our feelings - Heartless

Our politics - Shameless

Our education - Valueless

Our follies - Countless

Our arguments - Baseless

Our boss - Brainless

Our Job - Thankless

Our Salary - Very less 21st Century......Great achievements

What do women do after car accident

2011-04-05T03:17:00.001-07:00

(Very funny)Interesting Interview!!!

2011-04-05T03:16:00.003-07:00

Interviewer: Tell me about yourself.

Candidate: I am Rameshwar Kulkarni. I did my Tele Communication engineering from BabanRao Dhole-Patil Institute of Technology.

Interviewer: BabanRao Dhole-Patil Institute of Technology? I had never heard of this college before!

Candidate: Great! Even I had not heard of it before getting an admission into it . What happened is - due to cricket world cup I scored badly! in 12th.I was getting a paid seat in a good college. But my father said (I prefer to call him 'baap') - "I can not invest so much of money".(The baap actually said - "I will never waste so much of money on you"). So I had to join this college. Frankly speaking this name - BabanRao Dhole-Patil, can at the most be related to a Shetakari Mahavidyalaya.

Interviewer: ok, ok. It seems you have taken 6 years to complete your engineering.

Candidate: Actually I tried my best to finish it in 4 years. But you know, these cricket matches and football world cup, and tennis tournaments. It is difficult to concentrate. So I flunked in 2nd and 3rd year. So in all I took 4 + 2 = 7 years.

Interviewer: But 4+2 is 6.

Candidate: Oh, is it? You know I always had KT in maths. But I will try to keep this in mind. 4+2 is 6, good, thanks. These cricket matches really affect exams a lot. I think they should ban it.

Interviewer: Good to know that you want cricket matches to be banned.

Candidate: No, no... I am talking about Exams!!

Interviewer: Ok, What is your biggest achievement in life?

Candidate: Obviously, completing my Engineering. My mom never thought I would complete it. In fact, when i flunked in 3rd year, she was looking for a job for me in BEST (Bus corporation in Maharashtra) through some relative.

Interviewer: Do you have any plans of higher study?

Candidate: he he he.. Are you kidding? Completing 'lower' education itself was so much of pain!!

Interviewer: Let's talk about technical stuff. On which platforms have you worked?

Candidate: Well, I work at SEEPZ, so you can say Andheri is my current platform. Earlier I was at Vashi center. So Vashi was my platform then. As you can see I have experience of different platforms! (Vashi and Andheri are the places in Mumbai)

Interviewer: And which languages have you used?

Candidate: Marathi, Hindi, English. By the way, I can keep quiet in German, French, Russian and many other languages.

Interviewer: Why VC is better than VB?

Candidate: It is a common sense - C comes after B. So VC is a higher version than VB. I heard very soon they are coming up with a new language VD!

Interviewer: Do you know anything about Assembly Language?

Candidate: Well, I have not heard of it. But I guess, this is the language our ministers and MPs use in assembly.

Interviewer: What is your general project experience?

Candidate: My general experience about projects is - most of the times they are in pipeline!

Interviewer: Can you tell me about your current job?

Candidate: Sure, Currently I am working for Bata InfoTech ltd. Since joining BIL, I am on Bench. Before joining BIL, I used to think that Bench was another software like Windows.

Interviewer: Do you have any project management experience?

Candidate: No, but I gues! s it shouldn't be difficult. I know Word and Excel. I can talk a lot. I know how to dial for International phone call and use speaker facility. And very important - I know few words like -'Showstoppers ' , 'hotfixes', 'SEI-CMM','quality' ,'versioncontrol ','deadlines' , 'Customer Satisfaction' etc. Also I can blame others for my mistakes!

Interviewer: What are your expectations from our company?

Candidate: Not much.
1. I should at least get 40,000 in hand.
2. I would like to work on a live EJB project. But it should not have deadlines. I personally feel that pressure affects natural talent.
3. I believe in flexi-timings.
4. Dress code is against basic freedom, so I would like to wear t-shirt and jeans.
5. We must have sat-sun off. I will suggest Wednesday off also, so as to avoid breakdown due to overwork.
6. I would like to go abroad 3 times a year on short term preferably 1-2 months) assignments. Personally I prefer US, Australia and Europe. But considering the fact that there is a world cup in West Indies in 2007, I don't mind going there in that period. As you can see I am modest and don't have many expectations. So can I assume my selection?

Interviewer: he he he ha ha ha. Thanks for your interest in our organization. In fact I was never entertained so much before. Welcome to ******* .. :-)) We look forward to working with you..:-))

Cheers,
som....

What Is Hope?

2011-04-05T03:16:00.001-07:00

Hope is knowing that a positive outcome awaits.

Hope is not only expecting a dream to come true,
But having a deep assurance that it's within your reach.

Hope is saying you can.

Hope is knowing that you can improve
And that you always get better with practice.

Hope is knowing that you can achieve your
Goals through hard work and persistence.

Hope is looking to the future with joy
And having an expectation of better things to come.

Hope is the knowledge that life is everlasting,
And that miracles happen every day.

Hope is something that never abandons you.
Even when your life is filled with sadness and disappointment, a spark remains inside to help you get through the rough times.

Hope is one of God's greatest gifts to you,
Because it's the magic that inspires you to keep trying, Learning, loving, and living.